Day 328 – “NSFW”

Standard

I have never hated the sound of a camera shutter as much as I did this morning when I was SnapChatting a friend a silly selfie and left the sound on my iPhone on.

I froze, duck lips in full force, praying no one heard the loud Chhhhhh that ran across the office. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the guy across the room peek out from behind his computer screen as I tried to make it look like I was screen-shotting something. Narrowly avoiding what would’ve been a seriously humiliating moment in the office, I turned my sound off as quickly as I could.

There are a few things that are NSFW – Not Safe For Work, that is, and apparently, SnapChat is one of them. It very much depends on your workplace, however, as some of my friends are able to watch full TV episodes on Hulu Plus during their work day. Don’t worry Jess, I’m not gonna say any names. But you’ll learn as year one of PostGrad Life progresses just what is and isn’t safe for work.

1. SnapChat

Like I just mentioned, often SnapChat is NSFW. Unless you are actually smart and remember to turn the sound off when you get to your desk. But seriously, unless you’re sneakily snapping selfies, be careful, because it’s going to be hard to explain this face if you’re caught doing it at your desk:

Image

2. Hilarious BuzzFeed Articles

It is a scientifically proven fact that the only time it is impossible to hold in laughter is when it is absolutely necessary to hold in laughter. The workplace is one of those places you should try to contain the giggles as best you can due to an undeniable law. It’s called the Law of KYMS – Keeping Your Mouth Shut. I have a hard time following the Law of KYMS every time I open up a link to a Buzzfeed article from an e-mail or a g-chat someone has sent to me. I very often have to physically cup my hands over my mouth to stifle an embarrassing display of hysterical laughter that would be NSFW.

Wanna see if you can follow the Law of KYMS? Check out the 25 Funniest Autocorrects Buzzfeed article, one of my all time favorites. If you can hold in laughter through all twenty five, I’ll buy you a beer. But then also probably stop being your friend because they’re hilarious and if you don’t agree we shouldn’t hang out because I only like funny people.

3. Catching Up on Game of Thrones

The sex. The violence. The incest. The revenge. The totally-out-of-nowhere plot twists. If unlike me, you’re able to watch TV at work somehow, know that Game of Thrones is definitely NSFW. Imagine the setting. You have HBO Go open in one window, an Excel spreadsheet in another for easy clicking back and forth. But you become entranced with the show. Battles of good and evil are unfolding in front of your eyes as your heart races in anticipation. Then suddenly, the LAST POSSIBLE THING you ever thought would happen on the show happens. And you try to react like this:

poppins

But you WANT to react like this:

shocked

And I’m not sure what kind of job you have but the latter reaction would be met with some confusion in my office.

4. Stinky Food

Not only should certain activities be discouraged in the office, but often your choice of lunch can be a not-safe-for-work factor. The Lunch Hour is a sacred hour in the workplace. Where you can finally peel your eyes from your computer screen, give your ever-typing fingers a break, and rejuvenate – boost up your energy to get you through the rest of the day. For those of us trying to save some cash, bringing your lunch and eating it at your desk is a common occurrence  And nothing ruins the sanctity of lunchtime than having to smell your coworkers stinky egg salad as you try to enjoy your midday meal.

Some NSFW Foods you should Avoid:

  • Anything with curry
  • Egg salad
  • Fish, specifically tuna fish
  • Asparagus and Broccoli
  • Microwave popcorn
  • Burritos

lunch

5. Looking at Pictures of Ryan Gosling

Because:

ryan gosling

rainbow

So stay focused at work, post-grads, or if you must distract yourself, stick to Pinterest.

Best of luck!

5 responses »

  1. Pingback: Day 336 – So You’re About To Graduate College… | 365 Days In The Life of a College Graduate

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