Day 238 – “We Are Never, Ever, Ever Gonna Live Together”

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Having my brother home from college has honestly been a ton of fun. I was lucky enough to be blessed with a brother who is truly one of my best friends in the world. Caring and protective even though he’s younger than me, he’s as much of a big brother as I could’ve wanted; Also stinky and annoying, though, because he still is my baby bro. And as much as I’ve enjoyed his company, his hysterical sense of humor, and having someone around to make fun of my mom with, it’s made me realize how much it’s going to SUCK when I have to live with a boy. I have a hard enough time keeping my personal space habitable when it’s just me…imagine how hard it’ll be when all of a sudden that same amount of personal space is shared by two people.Β 

I was inspired last night to write a little song parody about how tough living with a dude is gonna be, after Kyle and his friends were blasting college football, playing video games, and eating Taco Bell. Essentially, boys being boys. But all I wanted was to watch “Remember Me” in bed and drink tea and the roars of college football fans in the background were kinda killin’ the vibe. So here it is. Sing to the tune of “We are Never, Ever, Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift. Enjoy:

I remember when you left the seat up the first time
Sayin’ this is it, I’ve had enough, cause like
I’ve fallen in the toilet twice this month
When you failed to put it down…what?
Then I went to wash up in the sink
See some, hairs in there from when you shaved, I think
And you’re, complaining that the bathroom’s painted pink
I say, “It’s pretty!” You frown and, you tell me, “Too girly.”Β 

Ooooh, made me watch sports again last night,
So oooooh, this time, I’m thinkin’ that, I’m thinkin that
We are never, ever, ever gonna live together
We-EEE are never, ever, ever gonna live together.
When your friends come over they raid
The fridge – eat my food, so,
We are never ever ever gonna live together.

I’m really gonna need personal space.
I don’t, appreciate you farting in my face.
Wanna, sleep in sweatpants, not in sexy lace.
And I’ll have to share my bed, my quiet comfy place.

Ooooh, you smelled like beer again last night
So oooooh, this time, I’m thinkin’ that, I’m thinkin that –
We are never, ever, ever gonna live together
We-EEE are never, ever, ever gonna live together.
Try to watch SportsCenter when
The Bachelor’s clearly on, so
We are never ever ever gonna live together.

I used to think that maybe someday someday
I could live with boys, but now I think no wayyyy.
So he calls me up and he’s like “I won’t leave the seat up anymore!”
And I’m like, I’m just, I mean this is disgusting you know, like
We are never gonna live together. Like ever.

We are never, ever, ever gonna live together
We-EEE are never, ever, ever gonna live together.
You will learn the prime time
To watch Lifetime’s all the time
Or weeee are never ever ever gonna live together

We are never, ever, ever gonna live together
We-EEE are never, ever, ever gonna live together.
Dirty socks and loud snoring
And more gas than my car,Β 
Yeah, we are never ever ever gonna live together.

…Unless he’s one of these studs, of course.

So until the fateful day arrives that I move in with a boyfriend, fiancee, husband, whatever, I’m going to bask in bubble baths, drinking wine, chocolate truffles (that I don’t have to share), crying during chick flicks, walking around in my underwear, and all those other girly things. πŸ˜‰Β 

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5 responses »

  1. ” I’m going to bask in bubble baths, drinking wine, chocolate truffles (that I don’t have to share), crying during chick flicks, walking around in my underwear, ”

    Maybe not the crying but the rest sounds great.

  2. Pingback: Day 275 – Your Single Best Valentine’s Day Ever « 365 Days In The Life of a College Graduate

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