Tag Archives: love

A Fantasy Love Life

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It’s Week 11 of the Fantasy Football season and I’m in 4th place in my league, so you can say things are getting pretty serious. This is my first year participating in this phenomenon that all our brothers, friends, dads and boyfriends are all obsessed with for all of football season, and let me tell you – it’s quite fun. It gives being a football fan another reason to be competitive even when your team is sucking (thanks Jets). Also, boys think you’re a total catch when you tell them you play fantasy!!!!!!!

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I named my team Colin Kaeperlick-me for a reason, ladies.

While texting interchangeably about football and potential new boyfriends one night, Daniella and I came to the strange conclusion that operating within the love life of a twenty-something is essentially the same as managing your fantasy football team. How you ask? Lets go through the details of fantasy football and examine how each directly relates to how you, the owner of your team, can take control of your relationships.

The Draft

Like every football season, your fantasy season begins with a draft. Here is where you select your players (aka the boys you want to have on your radar). In girl world, this is known is “Calling Dibs.” That way you and your friends are not all trying to have the same player on your team. Clarify who-gets-who and you eliminate not only competition, but also, totally avoid friend fights! Woo!

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Hopefully there are enough good contenders out there for all of you.

Your Starters

Once you’ve got your team drafted, you have to decide who is going to be in your starting line-up, aka, the dudes you are going to primarily focus on. Let’s do a quick breakdown of a few of the positions so you can decide who you need to place in which slots to ensure a win for you each match-up.

  • Quarterback – Your QB is a crucial player, and you want someone who is going to perform well against most other teams’ defensive lines. Girl world: Here’s a dude that you want to make sure can withstand any crowd of girls that surrounds him. Probably a pretty boy, who doesn’t know how cute he is, and thinks you’re the prettiest and funniest girl in the bar and will always lob a drink right into your hand. He’ll toss you texts daily and throw you lots of attention. So as long as he’s not injured or on a bye-week (aka he stayed in to play video games instead of going to the bar), he should be someone who’s going to always give you points.
  • Wide Receiver – Placing a WR is tough because week in and week out; it’s very hard to project how many points they will get for you. Even some of the best WRs out there will have slow weeks here and there. So while they are great for a fun night out once and a while, sometimes they’re just going to suck. Reserve this spot for the super hot guy who invites you and all your friends out to get into a hot club for free on one weekend, but that you don’t necessarily want to deal with the following weekend. Probably not BF material, but in the dating world, good to have around.
  • Running Back – This, ladies, is the position that you need to fill with your leading men. They are able to win you points in a multitude of ways (passing, running, etc). These are your all around guys, and probably the ones you’re going to want to LOCK DOWN. They’re fun, they’re handsome, they can pay for your drinks but aren’t flashy with their money. They like playing beer pong AND dancing, and look good in button-downs or their favorite NFL jersey. Draft a great running back so you know that when the weather gets cold and you wanna settle down, you have someone to watch Love Actually and drink Pinot Noir with.
  • Kicker – While your kicker can randomly surprise you sometimes, from a fantasy standpoint, he’s usually nothing to write home about. Good to have around on like, a Monday night, when you just want to hang out, grab a beer at the local bar, and watch the game. Don’t drag them along and definitely give them a chance to shine, because there might be that one game where he saves you from what would’ve been a devastating loss or surprises you with flowers after a shitty day at work.
  • Defense/Special Teams – These are your guy friends. They get you some points, but not the way a QB, RB, or WR will. Once and while there will be an interception and one of your guy friends can magically turn into the perfect boyfriend, but for the most part, they just need to stand their ground. Block out the creepers. Help you with your fantasy team lineups to impress the other boys. (Realistically these are the bros we’ll probably all marry but we’re too young and crazy to realize it yet. Thanks for sticking by us, Defense. We’ll come around eventually.)
Yes, Yes, Yes &  Yes Please

Yes, Yes, Yes & Yes Please

Your Bench

Just like we all had safety schools when applying to college, and just like real/fantasy football teams have players who sit on the bench, we need our back up dudes. When things fall through, when the guy you’ve decided on gets hurt or added to IR or decides he’s not ready to commit to a team or something, you’ll have a few back-ups to pull up to your starting roster. Consider yourself unaffected when you have to replace a starter with someone from your bench.

Adding, Dropping, & Trading

Here is the beauty of fantasy football/the dating world. You can drop players whenever you feel like. Not giving you enough points week after week? Failing to return your texts often enough? Drop them. It’s as easy as the click of a few buttons. “Are you sure you want to drop this player?” Hit yes. Just do it.

Because then, take a glance at the free agent pool! See who’s available to pick up off the waiver wire. If they’re not yet owned by someone, pick them up! Sit them on the bench for a backup, or if you’re feeling confident, slide him right into your starting roster.

Trading….meh. I’m not a huge fan of trading anyone my starting lineup on my fantasy team or in real life. But if you and the members of the league can come to a mutual agreement…then trade away.

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SO BASICALLY. What I’m trying to say is that managing a Fantasy Football team is 100 times easier than organizing the social calendar of a single girl. So ladies, if you can master yours, I give you permission to do a full on touchdown dance.

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*Disclaimer: A quick reminder that this in regards to dating in New York City. As in letting boys take us out for dinners and drinks, and figuring out which lucky playa is gonna change his ways and settle down with us. Just in case anyone had the wrong idea.

Lata, bitches, good luck with the rest of your season!!!

Day 336 – So You’re About To Graduate College…

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Yesterday afternoon, I spent some time browsing my Facebook and Twitter feeds and was overwhelmed by the amount of “Last undergrad class…EVER!” posts and tweets I saw. And I had a few reactions:

1) Congrats on making it to your last class! I slept through mine.

2) I’m not old enough to NOT be the youngest person in the workforce.

3) Where the hell did this year go?

I started this blog almost a full year ago to track my journey through my first post-graduate year and I’m in disbelief that I’m almost at Day 365. (*Note – I clearly did some math wrong along the way because on May 12th, the day after graduation, it will not be day 365. But don’t worry. Those of us in PR don’t really need to know numbers. Or counting.) But I guess I better start believing it, because I’m going to have to stop telling people I “just graduated college” and switched to “I graduated last year” when they ask what I’ve been doing with my life.

Anyways, now that I’m an expert in city life post-college (LOL), I’m gonna share with you youngin’s some fun facts and can’t-miss tips on how to get through year one of post-grad life. This is a compilation of my best advice in one list, SO LISTEN UP!!

10. Never underestimate the importance of Happy Hour.

Because it’s amazing. It’s cheap drinks, it’s handsome business-boys in shirts and ties, it’s like day-drinking sort of cause the sun is sometimes still out – essentially it’s everything I want in one place. Happy Hour becomes the go-to for dates, mini-reunions and hang outs. Because what you’ll come to realize is the “Come over and pregame before we go out on Thursday!” just won’t really excite people anymore, but “Wanna grab a few drinks after work on Thursday?” rolls off the tongue much more nicely.

9. Realize that you’re probably going to gain weight. Get a gym membership.

It starts slow. You start meeting up with friends for “a few drinks after work” a few times a week. You browse Yelp and find some cute new dinner spots. The weather gets cold, and Seamless comes into your life. You start ordering your lunch to the office – delivery. You sit at a desk from 9-5. Since it’s cold, you’re wearing layers. So no one’s noticing those extra pounds. All of a sudden, spring hits and your shorts are quiteeeee a bit tighter than they were last year. Yeah, it happens. Counteract it best you can by joining a gym or at the very least, going for a run once and a while. No matter how much it hurts.

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8. Learn how to budget your money.

Seriously. While my waistline was getting wider because of the above reasons, my wallet was getting thinner. If I had $5 for every time I wished I had taught myself the importance of saving money I wouldn’t have to worry about saving money. Maybe people are just generally better at this than me, but I would’ve loved to, before graduation, have taken like two seconds to remember that a penny earned doesn’t have to immediately become a penny spent.

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7. Visit your Alma Mater at least once (and try not to die while you’re there).

Homecoming. Go to it. Or any other random weekend. Visiting your college in the year following your graduation is like Christmas but better because it’s not cold and everyone actually really excited to see each other! It’s a mini-vacation, the closest thing you’ll get to Spring Break in your post-college career. The sub-point of advice within this point of advice – when drinking, don’t try to keep up with the college kids. Why? See my next point…

6. Drinking is harder. Learn how to adapt.

You’ll need to come to the conclusion on your own that you can’t drink nearly as much as you could in college after a few months at home. Between waking up early to get to work and just getting generally out of drinking shape, your 4-nights-a-week college rage-fests just don’t fit into a post-grads schedule. Instead, embrace new drinking activities, like Brunch, to fill the void left from giving up Tuesday night ladies nights or Thursday night binges. Believe me, being hungover at work is not a condition you want to be in often.

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5. Know that G-Chat is the new Facebook chat.

Yes, being in almost-constant communication with your besties remains important following college. So where group-texts fail (who can deal with their iPhone vibrating on their desk all day long?) and where Facebook reads ‘unprofessional,’ G-Chat becomes convenient and perfectly work-place acceptable. It was the most valuable secret of post-grad life. Inconspicuous chat windows can be disguised as e-mail drafts, all those super-important messages you’re about to send out to clients and colleagues. No one needs to know that it’s really links to your favorite BuzzFeed articles and other NSFW things. It’s a gem. A diamond in the rough. So necessary.

4. Enjoy being single.

Because as much as we all just wanted to settle down with a boyfriend after graduation and through most of the winter months (Oh, that was just me? Okay..), people still generally suck at being in relationships. And that’s okay. There are so many YoPros to meet, so many dates to be gone on, and so many fun things like Grouper to experiment with. It’s the most fun time in our lives to be on our own, going out with our friends, having cocktails with bankers and playing beer pong with fratty guys in “Murray Chill.”

3. Invest in a good set of wine glasses. 

You’re going to need them. “Wine nights” become your Sunday-Wednesday nights after college. You don’t need to schedule them like you used to with the roomies. Instead of, “Hey, anyone want to stay in and just have a few glasses of wine tonight?” the question is, “WHERE IS MY WINE OPENER?!” Wine. Always. Wine.

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2a. Go out a lot.

Explore the city, meet new people, try new drinks. There is more to see…than can ever be seen…more to do…than can ever be done…

2b. Stay in a lot.

It’s okay to stay in more, too. And it’s definitely okay to enjoy staying in. Because after a long day of work, sometimes all you want is to cuddle on the couch with your pup and a glass of wine and watch Game of Thrones reruns on Netflix. Which sounds like an ideal Friday night to me.

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1. Enjoy every minute.

While this year was a change, it was truly a great year. The first year out of college is a journey. You meet a ton of new people, have some incredible experiences, some ups, more downs. You’ll gain weight, you’ll lose weight. You’ll get screwed over by some douche you swore you’d never fall for again and refuse to date a nice guy who’d probably be nothing but amazing to you. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be late to work a few times. But overall, you’ll have a blast. Yes, college was the time of my life, and probably the time of yours too, but the fun doesn’t stop once you move the tassel, I promise. So take advantage of these last few weeks in school, and then feel free to take FULL advantage of the year that lies ahead of you.

Oh, and by the way, CONGRATULATIONS!

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Can’t believe this was a year ago. I miss and love you guys to pieces.

So where does that leave me? A blogger dedicated to exploring one year in post-grad life. I’ve got some ideas….Stay with me and you’ll see how I continue my journey through the blogosphere. 😉 I’m not going anywhere.

A Quick Diversion

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I set out to write a post this afternoon about what it’s like to celebrate a post-grad birthday, but with the events of this past week still fresh in everyones minds, I just feel it isn’t yet appropriate.

Two days ago, as all of us are fully aware, Boston was struck by acts of terror, injuring and killing bystanders at the Boston Marathon’s finish line. These actions were completely unjustified. In my father’s own words, “utter bullshit.” Not only were they directed at innocents, but because there seems to be simply no reason behind it. At a time when each of the affected persons and families, all of America at that, is waiting for answers, there are none. We are all asking questions, and each is met with a resounding silence.

This is the latest in a series of events in our country that has caused me to doubt over and over whether or not we as humans are inherently good. It’s the question that was asked through the majority of my Sociology classes during my years at the University of Miami. “Are we, as people, inherently good, and do some diverge and become bad?” or “Are we inherently bad, and do the many who are able to overcome that, show us the good in the world?” Through all of these tragedies we’ve witnessed, from the Sandy Hook shootings to the Aurora Colorado massacre all the way back to 9/11, there is evidence abound for the latter assumption. And yet, I still have to stand behind the first.

As horrifying as each of these events is, and other smaller scale tragedies that don’t even make the headlines, what is even more breathtaking is the way we see people reach out to one another. If you’re following the news, you’re hearing these stories. Marathon runners who passed the finish line only to continue running towards the hospital to donate blood; Boston residents opening their homes to marathon runners; former NFL players carrying injured bystanders to safety. And cities across our nation uniting, and standing with each other.

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Like this widely circulated photo preaches, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that,” and as Dr. King’s quote continued, “Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”

We see this, time and time again. When a state, or a city, or simply another American is affected by an act of terror or pain or anger, we stand together as a whole against that darkness. People reaching out to strangers, lending help and support to those in need. Whether it be in the form of monetary donations, blood drives, candlelight vigils, or simple social media updates. It’s our way of letting others know, “We’re here for you. Don’t give up. You’re not alone.”

And it is for this reason I know that we as a people must be inherently good. Because while some take the darker path and for reasons unbeknownst to the rest of us, hurt those around them, the rest of society joins hands against violence, against hate. And we fight, like so many around us, to stop these terrorizing acts that happen so close to home. And we don’t let these events stop us. New Yorkers went back to work in their office buildings. Students in Newtown, Connecticut went back to school. Colorado residents still go to movie theaters, and people across the nation will continue to run marathons. In fact, we may see people running marathons in honor of those victimized by these acts. Like George W. Bush declared in his address after the September 11th attacks, even acts that “shatter steel cannot dent the steel of American resolve.”

We’re asking lots of questions, about who stands behind this and why. But maybe the best answer, for once, can just be, “You’re safe. This person won’t hurt you again. There will be justice.” Imagine his or her name is not published. And he or she does not get the fame they probably wished to achieve through this. Well, good. To me, that’s justice. For them to be punished – and worse, to have no one even know their name.

My heart goes out to all who were affected, not only by the bombings at the Boston marathon, but to anyone who’s lives or families have felt the pain of tragedies big and small across America and across the world. And I hope that the light of the goodness of others can dispel the darkness.

Day 275 – Your Single Best Valentine’s Day Ever

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Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

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…But is it really happy?

For the past few days, all I’ve been seeing all over social media is single girls complaining about their lack of Valentines. I get it. It’s nice to have someone to buy you presents and take you out to dinner and shower you with love and kisses and chocolates and things that you can take pictures of and upload to Facebook to make everyone else jealous of you. But hey. I wish I had that every day, not just Valentine’s Day. So what’s the big deal about today? WHY do single girls make such a big deal about this stupid, lonely, cold, February day???

I was one of you not too long ago. But not anymore, ladies. Let this be the year you have a great Valentine’s Day because you’re single. Not even though you’re single. Here are some ways to make your Valentine’s Day the Single Best Valentine’s Day Ever.

5. List the People You Really Love

Remind yourself of all those you care about on this special day that my hibachi chef the other night refers to as “Love Day.” Here’s my list:

The guy in the deli who knows my coffee order when I walk in. He just warms my heart (and the rest of me….cause coffee is hot….get it…)
The sexy LIRR conductor who wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day today and winked at me.
My dad (unless I don’t come home to flowers today then he’s scratched from da list…sorry Daddy)
Ryan Gosling (“If I met Ryan Gosling in a bar….I’d make out with him”)
My dog. Actually all dogs. Woof.
The bartender who will give me a free drink tonight (Don’t know who you are yet but I know we’ll be meeting soon)
Jon Snow

Aww, Guys, Jon got me a puppy for Valentine's Day!

Aww, Guys, Jon got me a puppy for Valentine’s Day!

4. Make Fun of Your Exes

I want to write a petition to rename Valentine’s Day “Make Fun of Your Exes” day. You know there is a ex-boyfriend or ex-something in your life that has gained weight, is dating a not-so-cute girl, lost his job, got a bad haircut…etc. Make fun of him today. Celebrate being better off without him. Wouldn’t you rather be single than still dating him??? If he liked it, then he should’ve put a ring on it.

Let it out. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.

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3. Enjoy the Lazy Night You’ve Been Dying to Have

I don’t know about you, but a lot of the time, people will ask me to hang out and I feel obliged to go, even though what I really want to do is lay in bed, drink wine, eat microwavable food, turn my phone off, and just have a night to myself. If you have no other plans and promise not to watch romance flicks, have a lazy night in tonight. Order chinese and watch an intense action flick with your dog. Skip the gym, wear sweatpants and no makeup, and don’t worry about impressing anyone (except your mom who never thought you’d be able to finish the entire order of lo mein by yourself).

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2. Snag Single Dudes

Believe me when I say this is the best night to go out with all your girlfriends. Why? Because every guy you meet will be single. If he’s not, he’ll be out with his girlfriend. This is your chance to find your date for Valentine’s Day 2014. So get all dressed up, do some single-mingling tonight, have an awesome night, and make all your friends who are having boring nights with their boyfriends’ jealous.

*Warning* – Some guys may be out because they’re looking for “desperate, single girls alone on Valentine’s Day.” Be one step ahead of the game. Work them for all their wallets are worth and dip out while you’re ahead. #winning

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And most importantly…

1. Love Yourself

If this day is all about love, why not love the most important person in your life? Yourself! Be as selfish as possible. Buy yourself lingerie. Splurge on a manicure or that new lipstick you’ve been eyeing. Take a bubble bath. Drink your favorite wine. Hell, drink a margarita if that’s what you prefer. YOU DO YOU, BABY GIRL.

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Enjoy Valentine’s Day if you have a date tonight. Enjoy it more if you don’t. This day of love doesn’t mean you need to be in a committed relationship. Celebrate whatever it is that you love most. Whether that’s food, friends, wine, relaxation, partying, being single, or your boyfriend.

And just remember, no matter how bad today may seem, it could be worse. You could be Taylor Swift.

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Also, this. Because I just had to.

Day 267 – ‘Effing February

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So as everyone knows this past weekend was Super Bowl VWXYZ (too many Roman numerals) and while I personally didn’t care who won, I know that people everywhere were SUPER HYPED to watch the Ravens take on the 49ers. I didn’t watch much of it (mostly just the commercials and the halftime show) but according to my dad, Ray Lewis, Joe Flacco and the Ravens put on a pretty amazing performance before they took home the Vince Lombardi trophy to Baltimore. While it must feel good to be a Raven right now, my heart goes out to the San Fran fans.

It’s gotta be rough watching your team lose when you’re that close to winning it all. That feeling of loss; your high expectations coming crashing down before your very eyes; true heartbreak. I imagine there’s only one other group of people that feel the same type of disappointment as fans of the team who lost the Super Bowl.

Singles on Valentine’s Day.

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Don’t worry Vernon, you still have time to find a Valentine.

But seriously. There are a lot of ways that these two groups of people are alike. Let’s consider some things that will probably be said, thought, or done by either a fan of the losing Super Bowl team or a single girl on Valentine’s day.

I need a drink.”

Whether it’s pounding beer post game or wine to the face all night, most people turn to alcohol to fill the emptiness after an Super Bowl loss/V-day alone. Which is good because there’s usually a lot of beer to go around at SB parties and plenty of wine in single girls’ apartments.

Overeating.

  • “Goddammit, Pete finished all the nachos!!” “Leave him alone…he’s drunk and depressed that the Niners’ lost. Poor kid.”
  • “Kris, have you seen the rest of those Valentine’s chocolates? I could’ve sworn I bought a whole bag…” “…you did, okay?!!”

“Ugh, look how happy they are…..I ‘effing hate them.”

  • Niners’ Fan: In reference to Ravens fans at the parade in Baltimore celebrating
  • Single Girl: In reference to anyone in a relationship or smiling on Valentine’s Day

Avoiding Facebook/Twitter/Instagram like the plague.

Also known as “The Ostrich Method.” (Sticking your head under the ground. Everyone can see you, but you don’t care. You just don’t want to see or hear anything going on around you. Ignorance is bliss, my friends.) No one wants to see all the pictures of bouquets of flowers or Vernon Davis crying all over their newsfeed. It’s just easier to pretend that none of it is happening. Lalalalalalalalala moving on.

“There’s always next year I guess.”

The ever-hopeful mentality that although you may be a loser/alone this year, next year you’ll have a trophy/boyfriend.

Crying.

Because sad.

“Whatever, at least I’m not…

  • Niners’ Fan: …a Jets fan.”
  • Single Girl: …desperate enough to apply to be on The Bachelor.”

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So for those of you who had to suffer through one of these painful holidays in Effing February…I have the solution.

BEYONCE.

Guys: Beyonce performed better than anyone else on that field…let’s be serious. So how about we consider both teams losers and just say Beyonce won? (Cause like she did.)

Ladies: NEED I REMIND YOU OF THIS??? So put that wine bottle down.

 

You’re welcome. Queen B has done it again. We can all have a Happy February after all.

Day 260 – Unreal-ity TV

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More than once, my college roommates and I had discussions on what it would be like if all 7 of us were contestants on ABC’s The Bachelor at the same time. And to be honest with you, there is really only one word I can use to describe what it would be like.

Chaos.

Pure, unadulterated (and probably violent) chaos. Because that’s what it was when we all wanted to shower at the same time. Share a boyfriend? With a handful of other bikini-clad girls? No no no, that’s not something you’d want to unfold.

Mod Fight

Actual Photo. Taken November 2009.
Reason for Fight: Only One Mozzarella Stick Left.

So while it would be for our own safety not to cast us on the show, it would be great television. And up against any other crazies who weren’t already my roommates/best friends turned arch rivals when Sean Lowe walks in the room, we’d probably all have a pretty decent shot at winning The Bachelor.

As crazy as we’d sometimes get in my house, up against the psychotic bimbos that sign up to be on this show, I think we’d prove to be normal sober level-headed realistic less psychotic. Plus, it would be SO MUCH FUN.

But let’s clarify here. I know they call this reality TV, but there is nothing real about it. First and foremost, any drop-dead gorgeous, tan, chiseled, romantic, family oriented man who is ready to settle down and find a wife and start a family PROBABLY DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM FINDING LOVE. And if any are still out there, struggling so much that they’re considering going on national TV to find “the one,” please give him my number. Secondly, the dates. Are. Incredible. Not that I’m knocking any dates I’ve been on, but they don’t exactly compare to having an amusement park all to ourselves for the day (dream date!) or being treated to a shopping spree including a stop at Neil Lane.

In fact, compared to a lot of the other shows on television, things like The Bachelor are as far from “reality” as you can get. These girls literally leave their jobs and families (sometimes including their children that they gush about) to spend weeks at a Mansion in LA with a 24-hour margarita machine, 25 other crazy bitches, and a hot dude. Chyeah. That’s not real.

But…

Would anything really hold me back from going on the show if I had the chance? Probably not.  Have I filled out an application to be the Bachelorette? Maybe. Would I be okay spending the rest of my life with Sean Lowe? Yes.

Sean Lowe

Yes, Sean, I will accept this rose!
….No seriously, give it to me. NOW.

I’ll tell you this much. 365 Days in the Life of a Bachelor Contestant would probably be a much more entertaining blog than this one. So maybe you all should help me become the next Bachelorette. Just sayin’.

Day 242 – Defensive Driving vs. Relationships

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Every three years, my dad’s company organizes a Defensive Driving program through the NYSDMV and my family and most of my neighborhood always partakes in the classes. It’s convenient because my cousin teaches the class, it’s held right in my town in Queens, and in just 6 short hours, it helps reduce your insurance or knock points off your license. And it’s not like the classes are hard. It’s pretty much Drivers’ Ed all over again, reviewing the rules of the road, consequences of reckless behavior, and automobile safety tips. I recommend that all my friends take a class because you’re all shitty drivers. 

Anyway, I attended the class last night with my dad, and while the information was definitely helpful and my cousin was an amazing teacher, I found myself doing a lot of doodling, daydreaming, or texting my friends. And as I sat listening to all this talk about “being proactive and not reactive” and “anticipating the irresponsible and destructive decisions of others,” I realized that a lot of these tips are applicable to more than just life behind the wheel, but life in general. And specifically, to the relationships we as young adults find ourselves in. 

Okay, I admit I am by no means an expert on relationships, and probably anyone who knows me can attest that I couldn’t follow my own advice if it dragged me behind it on a leash. But just in case any of you do find wisdom in any help that I give you, read on, as I unleash the creative brilliance that is my next blog post.

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Defensive Driving vs Relationships

  • Defensive Driving: Before pulling out of a parking spot and onto the road for the first time, be sure to look all around you and be aware of your surroundings.
  • Relationships: Before getting involved in a relationship for the first time, be sure to examine the way this other person acts and be aware of your surroundings.

Are you going to be entering into a healthy relationship? Is this someone who has a lot of friends, someone who is well liked? Do your research! You wouldn’t pull out of your driveway without checking all your mirrors, or start driving a car that you weren’t sure worked properly. Be sure that the moves you’re making are smart ones, and don’t be afraid to do a little investigating first. Future you will thank present you. Who I guess by that point would be past you. But whatever.

  • Defensive Driving: It’s important not to exceed the speed limit; yet, be sure to always maintain a speed above the posted minimum.
  • Relationships: It’s important not to move too fast in a relationship; yet, be sure to keep things moving and not to drag your feet too much.

I’m sure most of us have been in situations where someone took things too seriously too fast (OMG, baby, can you believe it’s already our second week-iversary?) or where someone just moved too slowly. While you don’t want to rush into anything, doing the shy pull-away when he tries to kiss you after like, the 7th date, isn’t really going to progress things at all. Just feel it out, go with the flow.

  • Defensive Driving: Regular maintenance checks will prevent major mishaps on the road.
  • Relationships: Regular conversations will prevent major arguments down the road.

Okay, from what I see in every single one of the relationships around me is that no one ever has conversations about ANYTHING until they’ve been pissed about it for weeks. THAT WOULD BE LIKE if you were getting really low on gas, ignored it for days on end, and then all of a sudden you ran out and your car just died right there on the street (Which actually happened to me last year and I felt like such an idiot…thanks Andy for picking me up). I understand people don’t want to be confrontational. But bringing up minor issues while they’re still, well, minor issues probably isn’t such a bad idea. Especially when the alternative is to say nothing, let it go, and then have some kind of major breakdown that even AAA can’t fix.

  • Defensive Driving: Anticipate the behaviors and mistakes of others.
  • Relationships: Anticipate the reactions and possible mistakes of others.

It’s pretty easy to anticipate the actions of others and to learn how to take preventative measures to ensure that they won’t become serious issues. This is why it’s important to (see above cough cough) examine your surroundings before committing. So they have a bit of a temper when they drink. Or they’re very into their football team and commit every Sunday to the couch, the NY Jets, and beer. Or they’re a big momma’s boy and to them, nothing is better than her chicken parm. Be proactive. If he gets a little testy one night at the bar, either let it slide or back off, and avoid a fight. If you know that Sunday is football day, don’t suggest a “couple’s day with cuddling and movies!” since you already know it’s not going to happen. And don’t, I mean don’t try to out-cook his mom. There isn’t a worse way to impress her than by stealing her baby boy AND her recipe.

  • Defensive Driving: Cell phones and other passengers are major distractions while driving.
  • Relationships: Cell phones (not really but go with it) and other people can be major distractions while in a relationship.

This one’s a stretch but just read on. While it’s important to always listen to what your friends and family have to say about your relationship, letting them take the wheel and steer you entirely in a different direction is not how to ensure a smooth ride. Focus on the road in front of you, and don’t let others’ input distract you too much, especially if you never asked for it. If you need directions, or advice, your friends along for the ride can and should help you. But no one likes a backseat driver. You do you. (And your significant other, I guess. 😉 )

  • Defensive Driving: Even if you think you can get behind the wheel after a few drinks, you can’t.
  • Relationships: Even if you think it’s a good idea to have a serious talk after a few drinks, it’s not.

This is other thing I see all the time when I look at couples around me. Alcohol hits the lips, and it’s like they’ve completely lost control. Their judgement is completely altered, they’re not making sense, they can’t see far enough ahead of them to make smart decisions, and they’re in danger of being part of a serious catastrophe, hurting themselves and everyone around them. While alcohol can be fun and allow for some silly stories, it can also be disastrous for a couple. You wouldn’t want to end up with a BWI (break-up while intoxicated).

  • Defensive Driving: On a long drive, have someone with you who can take over the wheel if you get too tired.
  • Relationships: In a long relationship, have someone who will be there for you and support you when you’re down.

Relationships are a two way street, and if one person is taking the brunt of the drive, providing all the support, all the time, they’re going to get tired. Tired of being the only one who decides which way you’ll turn, when to speed things up, when to slow down, and when to hit the breaks and cruise for a while. Make sure you share in decision making and switch off once and a while or that one single driver is going to be the one who gets to decide when the trip is over.

  • Defensive Driving: If your car isn’t working after you’ve tried to get it fixed multiple times, you may want to move on to a newer and more attractive model.
  • Relationships: Self-explanatory.

So I might’ve stretched the last one a bit, but it’s true. And this is the one piece of advice that I’m qualified to give from experience. If it’s not working, just leave it behind you. You can try to fix things as many times as you like, but after a while, you’re just going to need to get rid of that old piece of junk and upgrade to the model that’s going to take you further – getting you there faster, and in style.

So that’s my lesson for the day, everybody!

Safe travels 🙂

Day 228 – Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End

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~Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa/Happy Holidays to all!~

Here we are, only three days away until the end of the year. Usually around this time of year I sit around and think of all the irresponsible, unhealthy, embarrassing behavior I’ve engaged in over the past twelve months, behavior I resolved not to engage in the year before, of course. But as 2012 draws to a close, I can’t help but reminisce on all the amazing things I was lucky enough to experience in what I’m absolutely positive was the best year of my life.

Where to begin…

Ringing in 2012 With Old Friends. I was lucky enough to begin this year with some of my oldest friends. In the close-knit neighborhood that is Bellerose, I was lucky enough to hold on to friends that I’ve known since kindergarten. It’s incredible – we’ve all stayed close, even through going to different high schools, different colleges, and just growing up in our own unique ways. But it was a great kickoff to 2012, being reminded that friendship is a strong bond and those whom you love will always be a phone call away, even if life begins to take you down different paths.

2012

Being a Party Girl and living the flirty, fresh, and fun life with my super cool friends. Which reminds me…

Las Vegas Spring Break 2012. The craziest trip I’ve ever been on. (Why anyone let us free in that city is beyond me.) Yet I couldn’t be happier that we went. We laughed, we cried, we won money, we lost money, we lost more money. We got cursed with crappy weather and almost got arrested (Berger), went to crazy clubs and saw mostly naked men dancing. It was the trip of a lifetime and I couldn’t have spent it with a better crew. Ze Vegas Crew.

Las Vegas

Being Tan. I was really tan in 2012. Like I just backstalked myself on Facebook…like seriously tan. Holy crap. Which reminds me…

Ultra Music Festival. Not gonna go crazy here but it was incredibly cool being part of something so huge. Say what you want about the EDM scene but there is something so magical about an event where you can wear butterfly antennae on your head and make out with trees and not only is it not really an issue, but you become a YouTube sensation in one day. Unfortunately, I didn’t take advantage of Miami Music Week during the first three years I spent in Miami so Ultra made for a good grand finale. Plus, I needed an excuse to wear next-to-nothing neon and put my hair in pigtails again for the first time since I was 11.

Ultra Tan

Ultra Tan

Getting Employed. I was one of the lucky ones to be employed even before the end of the school year (shout-out to VenueTap.com what what). It was a scary realization, the one that i came to  in the spring semester, that I should probably start looking for something to do with myself following graduation, or I’d be sitting on my couch all day every day…forever. Coming home and having a job for the summer was awesome – having it become my full time job was even more awesome. I’m lucky to have been given the opportunity that I was.

And Of Course…Graduation. Simultaneously the best and the worst day of my life. It was an accomplishment, no matter how common it is to graduate college these days. And to have my whole family there (minus my d-bag brother who thought his finals were more important..sheesh) to support me was amazing. Walking across the stage at the Bank United Center was surreal, and with the movement of some pretty string on top of a flat square hat, I went from “college student” to “college graduate.”

However, it also meant that I was saying goodbye to my home away from home, Miami, and Modesty. The girls whose floor I ended up on by chance (well, sort of), but became best friends with by choice. More like my sisters than my friends, the way we treated each others’ closets as our own, the way we’d fight over what to watch on TV for hours, the way we’d share our thoughts and experiences in full, and sometimes too much, detail. You became my second family. And in that sense, graduation was the worst thing that could ever happen. But what a ride, huh? And like I said previously, I know you’re all only a phone call away. Or a group chat message away.

The Weirdest People You Will Ever Meet

The Weirdest People You Will Ever Meet

So it’s a bittersweet end to an incredible year, but I’m looking forward to making next year even better. I’m not wasting time making the same resolutions I make yearly (Losing weight! Being more organized! Blah blah blah!). Instead, I’m just resolving to make 2013 AWESOME. The Year of Awesome. With awesome blog posts and awesome clothes and awesome things happening and awesome hair etc.

New Years

And so it begins in 3 (days)…2…1…

Happy New Year, everybody 🙂

Day Thirty-Seven – The Sappiest Father’s Day Post…Ever

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Not every girl in the world is as lucky as me.

He originally wanted to name me Elizabeth Kristen, but my mom decided otherwise. Which I guess after hours of labor, the mom really gets to decide on the name in the end. I’m not too mad about the outcome, because I’d probably be pretty upset if people called me Lizzy or something lame like that. (No offense, Lizzy’s of the world.)

He probably wanted a son first. What dad wouldn’t? To buy tiny little baseball-themed pajamas for, to teach how to build little mechanical trains, to teach how to throw a spiral football. But I think he was happy to get me, a little girl. He still taught me how to throw a spiral football. Knowing how to do it is one of my proudest qualities.

I tried playing sports. For a lot of them, he signed up to coach. Soccer, basketball, softball, volleyball…I just had a knack for, well, sucking at them, and usually ending up on crutches, or in some kind of cast. I felt a little silly, the coach’s daughter, so uncoordinated. So I stuck to dancing. And he came to every dance recital I ever had, bouquet of flowers in hand.

He took me to Father-Daughter dances every February when I was young, when I was a part of the girl scouts. They were always Western themed, and we’d chasse faster than any other dad and daughter couple at those dances. I’d stand on his feet when I didn’t know the steps, and he’d dance for both of us. In retrospect, I doubt I ever even let him even eat dinner while we were there, because I wouldn’t let him leave the dance floor all night. But it was always okay, because he’d take me to the diner afterwards for grilled cheese, always with tomato, and milkshakes.

He’d take me to see the NY Jets – bundle me up in layers for all the games so that I wouldn’t be cold. We went to Mets games too, at Shea Stadium, and out to Nassau Coliseum to see the Islanders. At hockey games, he’d cover my ears when the fans got rowdy so I wouldn’t hear them cursing. I’d still hear them, but I pretended I didn’t, and I’d never say those words in front of him.

He always challenged me. Before I was a vegetarian, he’d make my try absolutely anything. We’d go out to eat and he’d order the strangest thing on menu, and tell me I had to at least taste it, and that I’d love it as long as I tried it. I usually did. We used to visit Pennsylvania every summer and rent a house there, and one summer, he told me he thought I could swim across the whole lake. I didn’t think I could, but I tried. I did it. Once we went to Disney World in Orlando when I was little, and I was scared out of my mind to go on the Tower of Terror. He didn’t really give me a choice, and dragged me on it with him. I had the time of my life, and ever since, I’ll go on any ride in any amusement park.

He even took me fishing once. I stood there, all day, diligently waiting for a fish to bite. Hours in the sun, and I got nothing. But he stood with me, waiting patiently. When the dock was emptying out for the day, he said to me, “Kris, why don’t you try the other side of the dock?” I thought this was dumb – if the fish weren’t biting on one side, why would they be biting on the other? But I did as he said, and within 15 minutes, I reeled in a big, slimy silver fish. And even though it was big enough to take home and cook, he didn’t get angry when I wanted to throw him back in. “Send him home to his Daddy,” I probably said.

I’m just like him, and so we used to fight a lot. We’re both stubborn and don’t like to admit we’re wrong, and we’ll yell and fight to prove that we’re right. High school brought screaming matches aplenty, followed by a few days of awkward silence, and then eventually, we’d be okay again. He got angry at me like every father does at their first daughter. When he caught me drinking, when he thought my skirt was too short, when I came home with a belly-button piercing, when I crashed my first car. But the frustration never lasted. As mine never did with him.

And then for four years, I was over 1,000 miles away. We’d talk on the phone, and I’d send him e-mails once and a while to keep him updated on my life. I did a lot of stupid stuff over those four years, made a lot of messes that I still needed Daddy to help me clean up. Even though he probably shouldn’t have, he did. And even though he probably should’ve torn my head off for some of it, he didn’t. And even though I probably didn’t thank him enough, or say I was sorry, or tell him I felt like a really stupid, irresponsible, and completely out-of-control person, he never said a thing.

When I was sitting at graduation, I texted him from my seat asking if Mom was crying. He responded, I could tell he was laughing, and told me of course she was. I asked if he cried. And he said, “On the inside. I’m so proud of you.” And then I cried. On the outside.

So today, my family sat outside at this little sandwich shop on Bell Blvd. and had lunch and some sangria. And even though he spent most of it telling me, “You’re too young to have a boyfriend,” and “You better have a full time job by fall,” and “You know, after three drinks it’s considered binge drinking…” I listened. Because for 22 years I’ve been blessed to have him in my life; always accepting who I am, and the decisions I make, and the people I associate with, even if they’re not the choices he would have made for himself.

I know we still fight once and a while, but I know that if it came down to it, he’d still let me stand on his feet if I didn’t know the steps. And that he’ll continue to challenge me in everything that I do. And that he will always be there for me, no matter what.

Not every girl is as lucky as me to have a dad like mine.

So thanks for everything, and I love you. Happy Father’s Day, Dad 🙂 Image

(Secretly so glad I didn’t graduate with a Music Degree.)

Day Thirty-Two – A Love Poem

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On this rainy Wednesday, I thought I’d write a love poem. Enjoy.

Whether sunlight shines through window pane

Or I hear some quiet drops of rain,

I know I must give you fair warning –

I think of you most every morning.

As I climb the stairs from basement lair,

And run tired fingers through tangled hair

I know that you’re the only way

I’ll manage to get through the day.

Women know how rough it feels

Committing feet to 5-inch heels,

Knowing full well what lies ahead

Are many, blistering steps to tread.

Yet with you there, I must come clean,

Brings life to a lethargic scene.

Through city streets and stormy weather,

I know we’ll get through it together.

When it’s tough to take a stand,

I’m stronger with you in my hand.

And on this rainy afternoon,

When I was sure to drown in gloom,

You’re my rescue, as if sent from above –

French Vanilla Coffee – my one true love. 

Happy Hump Day!