Tag Archives: NYC

An Open Letter to Winter Weather (In Rhyme)

Standard

Dear Frigid Winter Weather,

For weeks you’ve plagued my days
With snow and slush and frozen mush –
I’m in a frosty haze.

Each morning as I step from bed
I’m met with chilly floors;
Fearful to touch the metal knobs
On all my stone-cold doors.

My landlord is an icy bitch
And won’t turn up the heat.
So all I have to keep me warm
Are slippers for my feet.

Image

I walk down Lexington, a scarf
Wound tight around my neck.
Because of you, my four block stroll
Is a long and icy trek.

The subway tracks are packed and wet.
Trains running with delays.
Daily commutes in thick snow boots
Avoiding puddles like a maze.

Image

Pictured: Entrance to the 86th Street Subway Station

Winter storms come days apart,
All with stupid names.
I’m not sure what you’re up to, winter,
But I’m sick of all your games.

There was no time before this year
You flew in with such strength.
I could tolerate your presence here
But never to this length.

Image

Not only I have noticed.
I know many would agree.
Cause every fucking Instagram
Is of a snowy tree.

And every Facebook status shouts,
“Guys! OMG! It’s cold!!!”
All the updates, texts, and tweets
Are getting kind of old.

Image

#snowytrees #winter #snowmygod #stfu

And then that stupid Groundhog
Ran and hid and bid you, “Stay!”
I’ll kill that thing, I swear, by spring,
So you will go away.

Cause I just miss being outside
And walking where I please
Without the fear of freezing,
Slipping, falling to my knees…

Image

I’m running out of Netflix shows.
I’m running out of tea.
So if I may, on this cold day,
Speak on behalf of NYC.

In my open letter to winter weather
“PLEASE LEAVE US!” New York begs.
So I can wear my shorts and skirts
And finally shave my legs.

Love Fuck you very much,

Kristen

Advertisements

A Fantasy Love Life

Standard

It’s Week 11 of the Fantasy Football season and I’m in 4th place in my league, so you can say things are getting pretty serious. This is my first year participating in this phenomenon that all our brothers, friends, dads and boyfriends are all obsessed with for all of football season, and let me tell you – it’s quite fun. It gives being a football fan another reason to be competitive even when your team is sucking (thanks Jets). Also, boys think you’re a total catch when you tell them you play fantasy!!!!!!!

Image

I named my team Colin Kaeperlick-me for a reason, ladies.

While texting interchangeably about football and potential new boyfriends one night, Daniella and I came to the strange conclusion that operating within the love life of a twenty-something is essentially the same as managing your fantasy football team. How you ask? Lets go through the details of fantasy football and examine how each directly relates to how you, the owner of your team, can take control of your relationships.

The Draft

Like every football season, your fantasy season begins with a draft. Here is where you select your players (aka the boys you want to have on your radar). In girl world, this is known is “Calling Dibs.” That way you and your friends are not all trying to have the same player on your team. Clarify who-gets-who and you eliminate not only competition, but also, totally avoid friend fights! Woo!

Image

Hopefully there are enough good contenders out there for all of you.

Your Starters

Once you’ve got your team drafted, you have to decide who is going to be in your starting line-up, aka, the dudes you are going to primarily focus on. Let’s do a quick breakdown of a few of the positions so you can decide who you need to place in which slots to ensure a win for you each match-up.

  • Quarterback – Your QB is a crucial player, and you want someone who is going to perform well against most other teams’ defensive lines. Girl world: Here’s a dude that you want to make sure can withstand any crowd of girls that surrounds him. Probably a pretty boy, who doesn’t know how cute he is, and thinks you’re the prettiest and funniest girl in the bar and will always lob a drink right into your hand. He’ll toss you texts daily and throw you lots of attention. So as long as he’s not injured or on a bye-week (aka he stayed in to play video games instead of going to the bar), he should be someone who’s going to always give you points.
  • Wide Receiver – Placing a WR is tough because week in and week out; it’s very hard to project how many points they will get for you. Even some of the best WRs out there will have slow weeks here and there. So while they are great for a fun night out once and a while, sometimes they’re just going to suck. Reserve this spot for the super hot guy who invites you and all your friends out to get into a hot club for free on one weekend, but that you don’t necessarily want to deal with the following weekend. Probably not BF material, but in the dating world, good to have around.
  • Running Back – This, ladies, is the position that you need to fill with your leading men. They are able to win you points in a multitude of ways (passing, running, etc). These are your all around guys, and probably the ones you’re going to want to LOCK DOWN. They’re fun, they’re handsome, they can pay for your drinks but aren’t flashy with their money. They like playing beer pong AND dancing, and look good in button-downs or their favorite NFL jersey. Draft a great running back so you know that when the weather gets cold and you wanna settle down, you have someone to watch Love Actually and drink Pinot Noir with.
  • Kicker – While your kicker can randomly surprise you sometimes, from a fantasy standpoint, he’s usually nothing to write home about. Good to have around on like, a Monday night, when you just want to hang out, grab a beer at the local bar, and watch the game. Don’t drag them along and definitely give them a chance to shine, because there might be that one game where he saves you from what would’ve been a devastating loss or surprises you with flowers after a shitty day at work.
  • Defense/Special Teams – These are your guy friends. They get you some points, but not the way a QB, RB, or WR will. Once and while there will be an interception and one of your guy friends can magically turn into the perfect boyfriend, but for the most part, they just need to stand their ground. Block out the creepers. Help you with your fantasy team lineups to impress the other boys. (Realistically these are the bros we’ll probably all marry but we’re too young and crazy to realize it yet. Thanks for sticking by us, Defense. We’ll come around eventually.)
Yes, Yes, Yes &  Yes Please

Yes, Yes, Yes & Yes Please

Your Bench

Just like we all had safety schools when applying to college, and just like real/fantasy football teams have players who sit on the bench, we need our back up dudes. When things fall through, when the guy you’ve decided on gets hurt or added to IR or decides he’s not ready to commit to a team or something, you’ll have a few back-ups to pull up to your starting roster. Consider yourself unaffected when you have to replace a starter with someone from your bench.

Adding, Dropping, & Trading

Here is the beauty of fantasy football/the dating world. You can drop players whenever you feel like. Not giving you enough points week after week? Failing to return your texts often enough? Drop them. It’s as easy as the click of a few buttons. “Are you sure you want to drop this player?” Hit yes. Just do it.

Because then, take a glance at the free agent pool! See who’s available to pick up off the waiver wire. If they’re not yet owned by someone, pick them up! Sit them on the bench for a backup, or if you’re feeling confident, slide him right into your starting roster.

Trading….meh. I’m not a huge fan of trading anyone my starting lineup on my fantasy team or in real life. But if you and the members of the league can come to a mutual agreement…then trade away.

***

SO BASICALLY. What I’m trying to say is that managing a Fantasy Football team is 100 times easier than organizing the social calendar of a single girl. So ladies, if you can master yours, I give you permission to do a full on touchdown dance.

jimmy-graham-dunk-4

*Disclaimer: A quick reminder that this in regards to dating in New York City. As in letting boys take us out for dinners and drinks, and figuring out which lucky playa is gonna change his ways and settle down with us. Just in case anyone had the wrong idea.

Lata, bitches, good luck with the rest of your season!!!

Fashionably Late to NYFW

Standard

Sorry for the brief hiatus, I’ve been doing important things like having a job and moving into an apartment and texting a lot of people. But alas I have returned again, with a story of my most recent New York City adventure. Come sit and let me tell you a tale of a far-away land, where beautiful, mystical creatures walk gracefully through our midst, looking forever youthful and shimmering as the lights hit them. No, this isn’t Twilight – sorry vamp-lovers. This is New York Fashion Week. And I was lucky enough to be introduced to this new, beautiful, magical world, feeling as awkward and plain-looking as Bella Swan upon meeting the Cullens, and as hungry as the Cullens when they catch a whiff of human.

Image

You can’t sit with us!!

New York Fashion Week was something that, to be truly honest with you, I never thought I’d see the inside of. The entire fashion industry just always struck me as something foreign, something so specific that unless you considered yourself “into fashion,” which (Surprise!) I never did, it just wasn’t your scene. To me, the industry was reserved for the tall, the skinny, the poised, and the pretentious. It always seemed like too much arrogance, too much exclusivity, too much dark lipstick. Yet as much as I wanted to feel negatively about it, I was always a bit enraptured with the way New York Fashion Week would take over the city. My PR friends would post Facebook statuses like, “Time for NYFW, see you all in two weeks!” and share Instagram photos of runway models, trendy shoes, or flashy afterparties. It was an alluring scene, a glamourous scene – but it was never my scene.

And yet I found myself a part of it this year. And how did I land such an awesome opportunity? Thanks to blogging. I was perusing the Craigslist ‘writing gigs’ section during my lunch break at work a few weeks back (A common activity – you never know what’s going to pop up there!) and ended up submitting some material for a cool, multi-city lifestyle blog called The Urban Realist. A few days later I was speaking with the Editor in Chief, who is based out of Fort Lauderdale, and was asked if I’d like to attend an event or two for NYFW and write some brief coverage for the blog. An amazing opportunity that came essentially out of nowhere, thanks to a little bit of Craigslist trolling and a 15 minute phone call.

Image

I was thankful to have Jess with me to photograph so that we seemed a little more legit, but overall, the two of us had a blast and agreed that it was a new and amazing experience to be swimming in the fishtank surrounded by these beautiful creatures rather than watching them swim in circles and judging from outside the glass. While I could talk forever about how rewarding it was, I think it’s important to not diverge from my true, weird self and instead, have some fun with this post:

Kristen & Jess Present:

Realizing You Don’t Belong at Fashion Week

You have no idea how to dress. It’s like Harry Potter syndrome at Kings Cross station. Half the people there are running through solid walls in robes pushing carts topped with owls, and the other half are in muggle-wear just trying to make it to work on time, and everyone is looking at everyone else like, “Dafuq are they wearing?”

tumblr_m9qm95Z2LA1reol9zo1_500

You get excited about free food. The good news is there will be a ton of it since everyone else at these events weighs 74 pounds…combined. But the more you eat and the fuller you get, the fatter and worse about yourself you’ll probably feel. But hey, who can say no to 4 packages of free hummus??? NOT I!

YtQPTnw

You smile in pictures.  Don’t you know that everyone at fashion week pouts? Duh. Smiling can cause face wrinkles which will never be in style – unlike the pout which will never be ‘out.’ On the rare occasion you do see smiles, they will of course be closed-lip smiles. You can’t show your teeth because ‘No White After Labor Day’ is like the most important fashion rule of all time.

Anyone who smiles can Dere-lick my balls

Anyone who smiles can Dere-lick my balls

You’re wearing comfortable shoes. Dead giveaway. Comfortable = bad. Any shoe worth wearing to fashion week is at best, going to tear your feet to ribbons. If you look down and think to yourself, “These shoes are so comfortable,” you’re probably doing it wrong. Also – it doesn’t matter what the weather is. Weather durable footwear is probably a no-go unless you have designah rain boots.

Looks good.

Looks good.

You’re drunk. Apparently people don’t drink at these things?? I know, I was shocked too. If my friends and I were going to dress up in weird clothes, walk seductively down a long hallway, blow kisses at a camera, and then strut away, I’m 99% sure there would be (a lot of) alcohol involved. For the walker and the watcher. But I guess that’s why they have after parties.

Keep it real.

Keep it real.

So essentially, if you arrive at a Fashion Week show the way I’m used to arriving at events, that is, dressed strangely, looking for food, smiling, jumping around in my favorite comfy wedges, and drunk, it won’t matter what “list” you’re on – you know the truth. You don’t belong.

From a wannabe fashionista, hear me on this. Regardless of how short, heavy, under-dressed, and sober you may feel at a fashion week runway show, overall the experience is a positive one. There is so much to see and and learn about this industry. The vast majority of us will never really be a part of the fashion world, doomed to shop at Zara and Forever 21 long past being 21. So take what you can get.

And by that I mean snatch up all the free giveaways at the event. Goodies!

See my “real” fashion week coverage posts here:

http://theurbanrealist.com/nyfw-kristin-cavallari-show/

http://theurbanrealist.com/glitters-nyfw/

Until next time… Au Revior Fashion Week!!!

1236452_10200737265538356_650032335_n

Hunting in the Concrete Jungle

Standard

Like a lioness in the African pride lands, a post-grad girl spends so many of her days and nights hunting. Hunting for what, you may ask? And I reply, what are we not hunting for? Job opportunities, successful men to date, the perfect brunch spot, a nail salon with a cheap-but-still-clean atmosphere. Recently, the most important thing that I’ve been hunting for is an apartment. And let me tell you. It’s brutal.

ImageMe looking tired while apartment hunting after work last week.

While the hunt for an alpha male is pretty ferocious, I honestly think the hunt for a home in the vast and viciously overpopulated jungle that is New York City is ten times as cut-throat. Pairs of snarling twenty-somethings can be seen salivating over the same shoe-box sized Upper East Side apartment, staring each other down, ready to fight it out to win their territory. You have to be the quickest, the swiftest, ready to pounce at any moment on the prize – because before you know it, it’s gone. Brokers taunt you with listings promising “TRUE 2BR!” or “CLOSE TO SUBWAYS,” only to disappoint you day after day with crappy 5th floor walk-ups on 73rd and York, when all you really wanted was to be somewhere in the vicinity of the express train and a Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s a cruel life for the 23-year-old entry level lion cub trying to move on from her home and start a life all her own out in the wild.

mean girls

Actual footage.

All metaphors aside, the process truly is really tough. There are serious trade-offs when you’re moving out for the first time, and I’m smack in the middle of understanding all of that myself right now. Moving out of the basement of my childhood home in Queens has been all I’ve wanted for about 6 months, but it’s not easy. It means meeting with broker after broker, all of whom seem to be halfway reliable at best, and making the uptown-trek a few times a week only to be disappointed at numerous apartments. It means trolling Craigslist and all of the other apartment listing sites every day on your lunch break to stay ahead of the game. “Bidding wars” and “guarantors” become part of your every day vocabulary. It means understanding that the first few months following your eventual move, you’re probably going to live a little less glamorously than you want to – Ramen noodle dinners, cheap wine, and Netflix-filled Fridays on the week that rent is due.

But the upside of the trade-off is that you become this free, independent version of yourself, bounding through the savanna (aka the island of Manhattan) with the rest of your pride (aka your roommate and other broke NYC-residing friends), making frequent stops at local watering holes and pouncing and nuzzling with handsome males…too far?

I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way. And so I know that the process is hard. My advice to fellow post-grads in the same predicament is as follows:

  • Be flexible. Part of this is understanding that your first apartment is probably not going to be your dream apartment. You may have to compromise some of your plans. Not all of them – don’t do that to yourself or you’ll be miserable, but be prepared to give up some things. It might mean walking up two extra flights of stairs to get to the door of your apartment but if it’s a block away from the subway, you’ll thank yourself come wintertime.
  • Be decisive. Know what you want, know what you can and can’t settle for, and act quickly when you find something that fits within your range. If you don’t pounce quickly, someone else will.
  • Be smart. Realize early that rent is only part of the equation. You also need to factor in utilities, transportation, groceries, toiletries, and most importantly, wine. Budget everything out before you decide what you can afford.
  • Be patient. This is the most important of all, and the part I’m struggling the most with. Eventually, you’ll find something. So keeping a good head on your shoulders and not rushing into something rash is crucial. Take it one day at a time, and keep on hunting. Before you know it, you’ll be all settled in, turning your apartment into your home.

Hakuna Matata.

Day 336 – So You’re About To Graduate College…

Standard

Yesterday afternoon, I spent some time browsing my Facebook and Twitter feeds and was overwhelmed by the amount of “Last undergrad class…EVER!” posts and tweets I saw. And I had a few reactions:

1) Congrats on making it to your last class! I slept through mine.

2) I’m not old enough to NOT be the youngest person in the workforce.

3) Where the hell did this year go?

I started this blog almost a full year ago to track my journey through my first post-graduate year and I’m in disbelief that I’m almost at Day 365. (*Note – I clearly did some math wrong along the way because on May 12th, the day after graduation, it will not be day 365. But don’t worry. Those of us in PR don’t really need to know numbers. Or counting.) But I guess I better start believing it, because I’m going to have to stop telling people I “just graduated college” and switched to “I graduated last year” when they ask what I’ve been doing with my life.

Anyways, now that I’m an expert in city life post-college (LOL), I’m gonna share with you youngin’s some fun facts and can’t-miss tips on how to get through year one of post-grad life. This is a compilation of my best advice in one list, SO LISTEN UP!!

10. Never underestimate the importance of Happy Hour.

Because it’s amazing. It’s cheap drinks, it’s handsome business-boys in shirts and ties, it’s like day-drinking sort of cause the sun is sometimes still out – essentially it’s everything I want in one place. Happy Hour becomes the go-to for dates, mini-reunions and hang outs. Because what you’ll come to realize is the “Come over and pregame before we go out on Thursday!” just won’t really excite people anymore, but “Wanna grab a few drinks after work on Thursday?” rolls off the tongue much more nicely.

9. Realize that you’re probably going to gain weight. Get a gym membership.

It starts slow. You start meeting up with friends for “a few drinks after work” a few times a week. You browse Yelp and find some cute new dinner spots. The weather gets cold, and Seamless comes into your life. You start ordering your lunch to the office – delivery. You sit at a desk from 9-5. Since it’s cold, you’re wearing layers. So no one’s noticing those extra pounds. All of a sudden, spring hits and your shorts are quiteeeee a bit tighter than they were last year. Yeah, it happens. Counteract it best you can by joining a gym or at the very least, going for a run once and a while. No matter how much it hurts.

Image

8. Learn how to budget your money.

Seriously. While my waistline was getting wider because of the above reasons, my wallet was getting thinner. If I had $5 for every time I wished I had taught myself the importance of saving money I wouldn’t have to worry about saving money. Maybe people are just generally better at this than me, but I would’ve loved to, before graduation, have taken like two seconds to remember that a penny earned doesn’t have to immediately become a penny spent.

Image

7. Visit your Alma Mater at least once (and try not to die while you’re there).

Homecoming. Go to it. Or any other random weekend. Visiting your college in the year following your graduation is like Christmas but better because it’s not cold and everyone actually really excited to see each other! It’s a mini-vacation, the closest thing you’ll get to Spring Break in your post-college career. The sub-point of advice within this point of advice – when drinking, don’t try to keep up with the college kids. Why? See my next point…

6. Drinking is harder. Learn how to adapt.

You’ll need to come to the conclusion on your own that you can’t drink nearly as much as you could in college after a few months at home. Between waking up early to get to work and just getting generally out of drinking shape, your 4-nights-a-week college rage-fests just don’t fit into a post-grads schedule. Instead, embrace new drinking activities, like Brunch, to fill the void left from giving up Tuesday night ladies nights or Thursday night binges. Believe me, being hungover at work is not a condition you want to be in often.

Image

5. Know that G-Chat is the new Facebook chat.

Yes, being in almost-constant communication with your besties remains important following college. So where group-texts fail (who can deal with their iPhone vibrating on their desk all day long?) and where Facebook reads ‘unprofessional,’ G-Chat becomes convenient and perfectly work-place acceptable. It was the most valuable secret of post-grad life. Inconspicuous chat windows can be disguised as e-mail drafts, all those super-important messages you’re about to send out to clients and colleagues. No one needs to know that it’s really links to your favorite BuzzFeed articles and other NSFW things. It’s a gem. A diamond in the rough. So necessary.

4. Enjoy being single.

Because as much as we all just wanted to settle down with a boyfriend after graduation and through most of the winter months (Oh, that was just me? Okay..), people still generally suck at being in relationships. And that’s okay. There are so many YoPros to meet, so many dates to be gone on, and so many fun things like Grouper to experiment with. It’s the most fun time in our lives to be on our own, going out with our friends, having cocktails with bankers and playing beer pong with fratty guys in “Murray Chill.”

3. Invest in a good set of wine glasses. 

You’re going to need them. “Wine nights” become your Sunday-Wednesday nights after college. You don’t need to schedule them like you used to with the roomies. Instead of, “Hey, anyone want to stay in and just have a few glasses of wine tonight?” the question is, “WHERE IS MY WINE OPENER?!” Wine. Always. Wine.

Image

2a. Go out a lot.

Explore the city, meet new people, try new drinks. There is more to see…than can ever be seen…more to do…than can ever be done…

2b. Stay in a lot.

It’s okay to stay in more, too. And it’s definitely okay to enjoy staying in. Because after a long day of work, sometimes all you want is to cuddle on the couch with your pup and a glass of wine and watch Game of Thrones reruns on Netflix. Which sounds like an ideal Friday night to me.

Image

1. Enjoy every minute.

While this year was a change, it was truly a great year. The first year out of college is a journey. You meet a ton of new people, have some incredible experiences, some ups, more downs. You’ll gain weight, you’ll lose weight. You’ll get screwed over by some douche you swore you’d never fall for again and refuse to date a nice guy who’d probably be nothing but amazing to you. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be late to work a few times. But overall, you’ll have a blast. Yes, college was the time of my life, and probably the time of yours too, but the fun doesn’t stop once you move the tassel, I promise. So take advantage of these last few weeks in school, and then feel free to take FULL advantage of the year that lies ahead of you.

Oh, and by the way, CONGRATULATIONS!

Image

Can’t believe this was a year ago. I miss and love you guys to pieces.

So where does that leave me? A blogger dedicated to exploring one year in post-grad life. I’ve got some ideas….Stay with me and you’ll see how I continue my journey through the blogosphere. 😉 I’m not going anywhere.

Day 309 – F.O.M.O.

Standard

I apologize for my brief hiatus from the blogosphere, but fear not – I have returned. I know you probably are all wondering just what I was doing for the past sixteen days; perhaps you had a bit of F.O.M.O…a Fear Of Missing Out? Well, whether you did or not, developing F.O.M.O. is exactly what I’m going to be blogging about today.

doc

F.O.M.O. [ F(ear) O(f) M(issing) O(ut)] (Foh-mo) noun 

The condition in which one who is separated from a group of people or a large scale event experiences fear, discomfort, and utter depression due to the misfortune of being unable to partake in events and activities with said group or at said event and understanding this means you will be missing something amazing. May lead to irrational and rash decisions such as last-minute flight bookings, over-drinking, or spontaneous outbursts of hysterical tears at your desk.

I have experienced, and believe I will continue to experience, the worst post-graduate F.O.M.O. symptoms thus far this month. Why? Simply because the month of March for the past few years of my life was always unreal. The bomb diggity. March was…well, Madness, if I may. There was always so much going on, the weather was getting nicer, people would visit and it was essentially a 31-day-long party in my house at school.

First and foremost, as you know from my last post, March to me means Spring Break. It means Las Vegas. It means the Bahamas. It means getting tan and drinking on the beach and dancing all night long and laughing and meeting new people and making questionable decisions that I never really needed to answer for. I just feel like I became the best version of myself on Spring Break. And by the best I mean worst…but it certainly felt like the best. The words “Spring Break” evoke feelings of freedom and excitement and spontaneity… and I’m watching undergrads experience all of it through this cursed channel we call Facebook. I see them prancing around in heels, all sunkissed and smiling, margaritas in hand. And I fear, I do, that I am…missing out. Which I am. Because I’m sitting at a desk doing much less prancing than I was last year down Las Vegas Boulevard, and I’m NOT happy about it!!!!

spring-beautiful-time-fluorescent-lighting-seasonal-ecards-someecards

This post falls at a very significant time, between two specific weekends which have made my F.O.M.O. much harder for me to deal with – smack dab in the middle of the two weekends of Ultra Music Festival. And goddammit, do people post a lot of pictures/videos of Ultra! (Did I post that many? If so, I’m sorry.) I even get video Snapchats from friends featuring 10-second teasers of the awesome sets I know they’re watching. And I’ll be honest…that’s just evil. And before I go to sleep each night, I whisper all their names to myself in a sort of corrupt prayer like Arya from Game of Thrones hoping all the power in Miami goes out or someone gets a bad case of Scarlet Fever and can’t get to UMF next weekend. It’s not my fault. It’s a side effect of F.O.M.O.

Plus, on top of it all, the changing of the seasons makes me miss last year. Today is officially the first day of Spring (although in NYC it doesn’t really feel like it), and with the Spring comes so many things I want to be doing. I want to be going to baseball games or going to the park or going on boats and outdoor bars or at least wearing flip flops and the worst part of all of it is that other people are. People live in warmer places or are successfully “funemployed” or are still lucky enough to be in school and they are doing all these things…and I am missing out on them.

As post-grads and entry-level employees, this feeling was bound to hit us eventually. It’s a trapping feeling, a sadness; it’s like all you want is for your best friend to drive up to your bedroom window in a flying car and rescue you during the lowest point of your F.O.M.O. and whisk you away.

harry rescue pt 2

But that kind of magic doesn’t apply to most of us, unfortunately. And so we need to find other ways to deal with F.O.M.O. And here is my best advice as to how to get throw these months that we spend playing in traffic while others are playing…everywhere else.

1. Make yourself a short-term bucket list.

Whether it’s a “Spring Bucket List” or “Things To Do In March” document, compile some kind of list of fun things you can do to keep busy. My friends and I have a Google Doc that we’re constantly adding things to so we can try new and exciting places and activities all the time. Definitely helps prevent F.O.M.O. as you’ll be too busy having fun to think about all the better things other people are doing.

2. Stay off social media.

Easier said than done, I know, especially when many of our jobs allow us some prime Facebooking after lunch or ample time to browse our Twitter feeds during the morning commutes. But try to not go through every “SPRiNG BR3AK 20!3” album that gets posted. It’ll only make you feel sad. And fat. And pale. Also, don’t backstalk yourself and remind yourself of all the fun you were having when you were still in college. That’s even worse, because hating past-you is always harder than hating present-anyone-else.

3. Make one really stupid college-kid decision.

Simply so that when you hear some kids telling a story about all the wild and crazy stuff they did over break, you can have one reference you can drop. “Well, don’t worry, we still rage too. Like, you’ll never believe what I did last weekend….” (Insert my behavior over St. Patrick’s Day weekend. Yep.)

4. Then counteract it and do something post-grad-esque and mature.

You’ll feel pretty dumb after your #3 stupid decision, so then do something very post-grad of you. Like trying out this new fancy wine bar or buying yourself a nice new blazer. Remind yourself that being a post-grad is fun, too! You’re not funneling beers on a beach, this is true. But the YoPros go cray for a sexy young thang hitting up Happy Hour in a sleek black blazer…who could pay for her her own drinks, but he’s gonna buy yours anyway. And it’s not gonna be a Natty Light, either. It’ll be a Blue Moon. Classssssssssy.

5. Last but not least, remember that F.O.M.O. is a temporary condition.

And that if you actually went to every party, every concert, every bar, and on every trip that you thought you would “miss out on” by not attending, you would be broke, exhausted, and probably have a horrible immune system. Breathe and relax and take comfort in knowing that you will 100% have a chance to go to some event or take some trip or see some show sometime soon that other people are totally going to miss out on. And you can brag about it all you want.

Keep your head up during these undergrad F.O.M.O. moments, post-grads. While it may be hard, there are bright, shining, wonderful future experiences for those 23 and older somewhere out there waiting for us.

Day 280 – Why I’m Probably Not Going to my High School Reunion

Standard

I received something in the mail a few weeks ago that really brought me back.

Back to a time of few to no responsibilities. A time when your “job” meant working four hour shifts in the mall or at the grocery store. A time when your parents chauffeured you to and from parties. A time when you were convinced your boyfriend of four-months was the man you were going to marry. A time when people were generally shittier versions of their current selves.

High School.

Image

Ugh, ugly thumb syndrome.

I received the invitation to my 5-year high school reunion and after some thought I think I’ve decided not to go. Why? Because there are just some people that I’m okay with never seeing again. And if life decides to have us cross paths? Okay. But it doesn’t mean I need to subject myself to that happening inside my high school cafeteria.

But for those of you who do plan on going, here’s my prediction on who you’ll be interacting with.

The Five People You’ll See at Your High School Reunion

5. The Principal/Dean/Guidance Counselor

In high school, I used to wear sunglasses on my head as an accessory almost every day (Foreshadowing that I’d be in college in Miami?), and it drove my principal crazy. I’d walk from my locker towards my homeroom and there she’d wait, in the same spot, and swipe them off my head as I walked by. “You’re inside now, Ms. Chuber,” she’d remind me. And I’d nod, wait till she was out of sight, and then push them back onto my head.

Whatever your relationship was with members of authority in high school, chances are you were way more of a douchebag then than you are now. And so you’ll probably have to deal with Past You’s annoying attitude when you interact with these individuals. Maybe you spent a lot of time in detention. Or in the Dean’s office. Or being dramatic to your guidance counselor. Whatever it was, the faculty will definitely remember you because of some particular detail. And they’re going to bring it up, at some point or another. I can hear Sister Kathleen now… “Where are your sunglasses, Kristen? Did you leave them down in Miami? Do you still wear them, whatever the weather?” Yes. Yes I do.

Boy-Meet-World-New-Pic

4. The High School BFF

This is someone that normally, you’d love to catch up with! The girl/guy you were super close to for four years. They’re the person you went out with on the weekends, spent your free periods with planning your Sweet 16, and gossiped with about boys in adjacent bathroom stalls. Yet you two may have drifted, such is life, and years may have passed since you two have spoken. While I personally would enjoy catching up with my high school best friends, within the confines of a high school reunion, it may feel unnatural.

A few things may happen. First, you may experience what any fellow How I Met Your Mother fans will understand as “Revertigo,” where in order to make interaction normal, you revert back to the high school version of yourself. So if you two were notoriously boy crazy, the first thing you would probably ask would be, “So, what’s your guy situation right now??” You’d take MySpace style pictures and maybe even upload them to Facebook. #besties #reunited. Or maybe something came between the two of you in order to end the BFFriendship, and that event/person will be the elephant in the room for the extent of your conversation. Or maybe you’ll assume you can just pick up where you left off and maybe it’ll be much harder than you thought because one of you went through a drastic life change like giving up drinking or going brunette. There’s definitely potential for awkwardness there. So just beware.

569881_1302117073874_196_257

3. The Person Who Not-S0-Secretly Hates You

Whether or not it’s out in the open, there’s that person that you know just isn’t a fan of yours. Maybe it’s because you made fun of them in gym class for being a total weirdo or because you dated her boyfriend after they broke up “even though she said it was okay.” But by no means are you friends, and they’re definitely not trying to be.   You might try to avoid them, or maybe you’ll do the opposite, and try to be overly sweet to make up for your less than happy memories with this person. Regardless, you should probably keep an eye out, in case you’re on their hitlist.

steve_buscemi_billy_madison

2. Your High School Worst Enemy

Everyone had a worst enemy in high school. The person that you absolutely could not stand. So much so, that on graduation day, you thanked your lucky stars you’d be rid of her for good. And you’ve managed to avoid her for five years. But here you are, going to your high school reunion, knowing she will be there. It’s not that you care about the drama anymore; after all, it was five years ago. But there is ZERO part of you that wants to see this person. Ever again.

And that’s okay. While most of the problems that existed between high schoolers was based on immaturity and probably just boredom, you don’t need to reach out to every person you disliked in the past and attempt to rekindle a friendship. As long as you can both be civil if and when you run into each other somewhere, that is enough. No need to force a friendship just to prove you’re not the grotsky little beotch you were in 10th grade.

harry potter

1. A Horrible Version of Yourself That You Want To Forget Forever

“I was probably the best version of myself in high school,” said no one ever. We all thought we were the coolest thing since ice pops, and let’s face it – we weren’t. I would truly love to shake High School Kristen by her shoulders, letting her giant hoop earrings swing back and forth smacking her in the face, and tell her that she’s a giant tool and to STOP. I want to say, “No, Kristen, you should NOT have a Xanga! Your future college friends are going to find it and never let you live it down!” Being back in my high school, looking at old pictures, and talking about 15 year old me is only going to remind me of how lame and obnoxious everyone was in high school. And by everyone I mean primarily myself.

mean girls

So I don’t think I’ll be attending my high school reunion this time around.

I’d rather catch up like normal people. And grab a coffee with someone I recently reconnected with on Facebook. Or get a big group together and go to a bar. And chat about the latest episode of the Bachelor or how hot that guy I dumped in 12th grade got and whether or not the 10th grade English teacher ever hooked up with a student or, my favorite, how awkward our past selves were. And I don’t think I need to pay $50 and feel awkward for 3 hours in order to reunite with people from my past.

Plus, thanks to social media, it’s really easy to reach out and get back in touch with people. If and when I want to reconnect with some friends from the “old days,” its nice to know that everyone is just a Facebook message, a Tweet, a text, or an e-mail away. With the technology available to us, reunions aren’t really necessary anymore. In fact, we probably already know a lot about what everyone has been up to thanks to that technology. I’ve seen your new apartment on Instagram, saw your Tweet about working for Goldman Sachs, and noticed you updated your Facebook to include NYU Medical School under your Education. 

Regardless, I hope everyone has fun. And I’ll strongly consider attention The Mary Louis Academy’s 10-year reunion in 2018 🙂

omg

The girls who made high school a little less crappy. June 1, 2008.

Day 254 – Cold Weather Survival Guide

Standard

So this is what my walk from Penn Station to my office building looked like this morning:

Image

It was real rough. High of 20 degrees for the day, wind chill at 0 degrees… It’s no wonder I booked a flight back to Miami yesterday afternoon. This is some beyond-the-wall nonsense and I never agreed to any of it. So unless I’m cuddling with Jon Snow in a snug little castle I really shouldn’t have to deal with this.

Born and raised in Queens, I should probably be more equipped to deal with these wintery temperatures but four years in South Florida has thinned my blood. I mean, by senior year, I was pulling on Ugg boots when the temps hit the high 50s, even low 60s. Spoiled. Spoiled rotten. And now here I am completely unprepared for life in the tundra that is New York City.

To my friends from the northeast still enjoying the South Florida weather, I’m making this post your Cold Weather Survival Guide so that you may be more prepared than I was for these frigid January temps. The following are some things that are essential to own or do during your first winter home in NYC/anywhere else in the northeast:

Image

The biggest, warmest, fuzziest slippers possible. I think the worst feeling for me thus far has been having to tip-toe across the FREEZING COLD tile floor of my bathroom to get in the shower on these frosty winter mornings. Keep your tootsies toasty in some slippas.

~

The blanket cocoon is an absolute necessity when trying to go to sleep at night (especially for those of you with bedrooms in the basement…aka…me). To Properly Cocoon: Lay in pencil pose at one end of the blanket holding the edge against you and roll across the bed until you are entirely cocooned. Then, when you’re wrapped like a taquito, lift your legs an tuck the end under so that the bottom flap won’t let any frigid air in. Voila. Blanket cocoon. See below for demonstration.

Blanket Cocoon

~

Chapstick. Seriously. Don’t go ANYWHERE without it or your lips will actually fall off of your face and no one will ever kiss you EVER AGAIN.

~

Snuggie_Burgandy_1000

Snuggies. Underrated because it actually is convenient for a blanket to have sleeves (unless of course you’re trying to blanket cocoon [see above] in which case a Snuggie is not ideal). But seriously. You’re under a blanket, nice and warm, and don’t even need to take your arm out from under it as you reach for your….

~

…steamy hot beverage. I have never drank more hot tea than I have the past few weeks. I think my BTC (blood tea content) is definitely through the roof, but I’m okay with it because there’s nothing I want to be more than hot blooded in these cold winter months.

~

spirit-hood

One of these. Which apparently are called Spirithoods even though I’ve always referred to them as “Fuzzy Animal Hats With Paws Attached” which I still think is a much better name for them, but whatever. I’m a fan and they’re super cozy. Plus, you can take really cute SnapChats in them to send to people captioned “Rawr! *kitty emoji*” and it makes everyone all warm inside, and remember, warm = good.

~

Bake things. Baked goodies make everyone feel a little warmer, whether it’s the actual extra layer they’re adding onto your hips or just the enjoyment of some sweet, melty goodness on a cold winter night. Like the Brownie Cupcakes with a Reese’s Center that I made last week. Cook brownie batter in cupcake tins, but put a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in the middle while you’re pouring in the batter and bake for 20 mins. on 375 degrees. Throw them in the microwave for 15 seconds before you eat them and prepare for hot peanut butter magma spilling out of a rich chocolately cupcake volcano. HOT.

~

And my last and final piece of advice on staying warm in the winter is visiting warm places. Yup. I’ll be migrating south for a weekend in February back to Miami to escape this wretched winter!!!!!11 It’s the only real way to stay warm in sub-freezing temps. Miami, here I come! (Though I should probably lay off the baked goods [above] if I’m going to be wearing a bikini again fairly soon…)

University_of_Miami_Otto_G._Richter_Librar

So in conclusion…………………….

……………………….winter sucks.

Stay warm, everybody!

P.S. THIS:

cutest dog ever

Day 228 – Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End

Standard

~Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa/Happy Holidays to all!~

Here we are, only three days away until the end of the year. Usually around this time of year I sit around and think of all the irresponsible, unhealthy, embarrassing behavior I’ve engaged in over the past twelve months, behavior I resolved not to engage in the year before, of course. But as 2012 draws to a close, I can’t help but reminisce on all the amazing things I was lucky enough to experience in what I’m absolutely positive was the best year of my life.

Where to begin…

Ringing in 2012 With Old Friends. I was lucky enough to begin this year with some of my oldest friends. In the close-knit neighborhood that is Bellerose, I was lucky enough to hold on to friends that I’ve known since kindergarten. It’s incredible – we’ve all stayed close, even through going to different high schools, different colleges, and just growing up in our own unique ways. But it was a great kickoff to 2012, being reminded that friendship is a strong bond and those whom you love will always be a phone call away, even if life begins to take you down different paths.

2012

Being a Party Girl and living the flirty, fresh, and fun life with my super cool friends. Which reminds me…

Las Vegas Spring Break 2012. The craziest trip I’ve ever been on. (Why anyone let us free in that city is beyond me.) Yet I couldn’t be happier that we went. We laughed, we cried, we won money, we lost money, we lost more money. We got cursed with crappy weather and almost got arrested (Berger), went to crazy clubs and saw mostly naked men dancing. It was the trip of a lifetime and I couldn’t have spent it with a better crew. Ze Vegas Crew.

Las Vegas

Being Tan. I was really tan in 2012. Like I just backstalked myself on Facebook…like seriously tan. Holy crap. Which reminds me…

Ultra Music Festival. Not gonna go crazy here but it was incredibly cool being part of something so huge. Say what you want about the EDM scene but there is something so magical about an event where you can wear butterfly antennae on your head and make out with trees and not only is it not really an issue, but you become a YouTube sensation in one day. Unfortunately, I didn’t take advantage of Miami Music Week during the first three years I spent in Miami so Ultra made for a good grand finale. Plus, I needed an excuse to wear next-to-nothing neon and put my hair in pigtails again for the first time since I was 11.

Ultra Tan

Ultra Tan

Getting Employed. I was one of the lucky ones to be employed even before the end of the school year (shout-out to VenueTap.com what what). It was a scary realization, the one that i came to  in the spring semester, that I should probably start looking for something to do with myself following graduation, or I’d be sitting on my couch all day every day…forever. Coming home and having a job for the summer was awesome – having it become my full time job was even more awesome. I’m lucky to have been given the opportunity that I was.

And Of Course…Graduation. Simultaneously the best and the worst day of my life. It was an accomplishment, no matter how common it is to graduate college these days. And to have my whole family there (minus my d-bag brother who thought his finals were more important..sheesh) to support me was amazing. Walking across the stage at the Bank United Center was surreal, and with the movement of some pretty string on top of a flat square hat, I went from “college student” to “college graduate.”

However, it also meant that I was saying goodbye to my home away from home, Miami, and Modesty. The girls whose floor I ended up on by chance (well, sort of), but became best friends with by choice. More like my sisters than my friends, the way we treated each others’ closets as our own, the way we’d fight over what to watch on TV for hours, the way we’d share our thoughts and experiences in full, and sometimes too much, detail. You became my second family. And in that sense, graduation was the worst thing that could ever happen. But what a ride, huh? And like I said previously, I know you’re all only a phone call away. Or a group chat message away.

The Weirdest People You Will Ever Meet

The Weirdest People You Will Ever Meet

So it’s a bittersweet end to an incredible year, but I’m looking forward to making next year even better. I’m not wasting time making the same resolutions I make yearly (Losing weight! Being more organized! Blah blah blah!). Instead, I’m just resolving to make 2013 AWESOME. The Year of Awesome. With awesome blog posts and awesome clothes and awesome things happening and awesome hair etc.

New Years

And so it begins in 3 (days)…2…1…

Happy New Year, everybody 🙂

Day 199 – Making Moves

Standard

Some big moves were made this week in my life.

First and foremost, my company’s site, www.VenueTap.com, officially launched!!!!

Yeahhhhhh, you know how it i$.

But I’m super psyched. It’s been so amazing to see a start-up grow from the bottom up and see just how it can take off. In just one day of being live, our site has already seen business as well as press coverage! I’m really excited. Plus, I’m totally professional now, and I have my very own business cards so…I’m kind of a big deal.

Another big move was that a whopping like 2/3 of my Christmas shopping is already COMPLETED. Yes, you read that right. It’s not even December and I’m already almost done. For the first time ever, I really took advantage of Cyber Monday sales. Cyber Monday is literally the most ingenius thing invented since….Black Friday. Especially for people like me that enjoy online shopping. A few short hours in front of my computer totally eliminated countless hours elbowing annoying teenagers to get to the last sale item left on the shelf in the mall during the busiest time of the year.

Big Move #3 was made by the whole Chuber fam as a whole – Christmas Tree is officially up in the house! It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! …but really it is. Anyone else notice how COLD it is outside??? Plus, the Rockefeller Center Tree is officially up. Which Jess and I discussed is just called “The Tree,” and anyone who doesn’t know what tree you’re referring to isn’t worth taking to the tree. Wintery window decorations are going up, the radio is playing Christmas music, and I’m pretty sure Santa is in the mall already. Should I start a Christmas countdown?

Yeah, it was a good week.

The moves…they’re big.