Tag Archives: parties

Fashionably Late to NYFW

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Sorry for the brief hiatus, I’ve been doing important things like having a job and moving into an apartment and texting a lot of people. But alas I have returned again, with a story of my most recent New York City adventure. Come sit and let me tell you a tale of a far-away land, where beautiful, mystical creatures walk gracefully through our midst, looking forever youthful and shimmering as the lights hit them. No, this isn’t Twilight – sorry vamp-lovers. This is New York Fashion Week. And I was lucky enough to be introduced to this new, beautiful, magical world, feeling as awkward and plain-looking as Bella Swan upon meeting the Cullens, and as hungry as the Cullens when they catch a whiff of human.

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You can’t sit with us!!

New York Fashion Week was something that, to be truly honest with you, I never thought I’d see the inside of. The entire fashion industry just always struck me as something foreign, something so specific that unless you considered yourself “into fashion,” which (Surprise!) I never did, it just wasn’t your scene. To me, the industry was reserved for the tall, the skinny, the poised, and the pretentious. It always seemed like too much arrogance, too much exclusivity, too much dark lipstick. Yet as much as I wanted to feel negatively about it, I was always a bit enraptured with the way New York Fashion Week would take over the city. My PR friends would post Facebook statuses like, “Time for NYFW, see you all in two weeks!” and share Instagram photos of runway models, trendy shoes, or flashy afterparties. It was an alluring scene, a glamourous scene – but it was never my scene.

And yet I found myself a part of it this year. And how did I land such an awesome opportunity? Thanks to blogging. I was perusing the Craigslist ‘writing gigs’ section during my lunch break at work a few weeks back (A common activity – you never know what’s going to pop up there!) and ended up submitting some material for a cool, multi-city lifestyle blog called The Urban Realist. A few days later I was speaking with the Editor in Chief, who is based out of Fort Lauderdale, and was asked if I’d like to attend an event or two for NYFW and write some brief coverage for the blog. An amazing opportunity that came essentially out of nowhere, thanks to a little bit of Craigslist trolling and a 15 minute phone call.

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I was thankful to have Jess with me to photograph so that we seemed a little more legit, but overall, the two of us had a blast and agreed that it was a new and amazing experience to be swimming in the fishtank surrounded by these beautiful creatures rather than watching them swim in circles and judging from outside the glass. While I could talk forever about how rewarding it was, I think it’s important to not diverge from my true, weird self and instead, have some fun with this post:

Kristen & Jess Present:

Realizing You Don’t Belong at Fashion Week

You have no idea how to dress. It’s like Harry Potter syndrome at Kings Cross station. Half the people there are running through solid walls in robes pushing carts topped with owls, and the other half are in muggle-wear just trying to make it to work on time, and everyone is looking at everyone else like, “Dafuq are they wearing?”

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You get excited about free food. The good news is there will be a ton of it since everyone else at these events weighs 74 pounds…combined. But the more you eat and the fuller you get, the fatter and worse about yourself you’ll probably feel. But hey, who can say no to 4 packages of free hummus??? NOT I!

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You smile in pictures.  Don’t you know that everyone at fashion week pouts? Duh. Smiling can cause face wrinkles which will never be in style – unlike the pout which will never be ‘out.’ On the rare occasion you do see smiles, they will of course be closed-lip smiles. You can’t show your teeth because ‘No White After Labor Day’ is like the most important fashion rule of all time.

Anyone who smiles can Dere-lick my balls

Anyone who smiles can Dere-lick my balls

You’re wearing comfortable shoes. Dead giveaway. Comfortable = bad. Any shoe worth wearing to fashion week is at best, going to tear your feet to ribbons. If you look down and think to yourself, “These shoes are so comfortable,” you’re probably doing it wrong. Also – it doesn’t matter what the weather is. Weather durable footwear is probably a no-go unless you have designah rain boots.

Looks good.

Looks good.

You’re drunk. Apparently people don’t drink at these things?? I know, I was shocked too. If my friends and I were going to dress up in weird clothes, walk seductively down a long hallway, blow kisses at a camera, and then strut away, I’m 99% sure there would be (a lot of) alcohol involved. For the walker and the watcher. But I guess that’s why they have after parties.

Keep it real.

Keep it real.

So essentially, if you arrive at a Fashion Week show the way I’m used to arriving at events, that is, dressed strangely, looking for food, smiling, jumping around in my favorite comfy wedges, and drunk, it won’t matter what “list” you’re on – you know the truth. You don’t belong.

From a wannabe fashionista, hear me on this. Regardless of how short, heavy, under-dressed, and sober you may feel at a fashion week runway show, overall the experience is a positive one. There is so much to see and and learn about this industry. The vast majority of us will never really be a part of the fashion world, doomed to shop at Zara and Forever 21 long past being 21. So take what you can get.

And by that I mean snatch up all the free giveaways at the event. Goodies!

See my “real” fashion week coverage posts here:

http://theurbanrealist.com/nyfw-kristin-cavallari-show/

http://theurbanrealist.com/glitters-nyfw/

Until next time… Au Revior Fashion Week!!!

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Day 191 – The Do’s and Don’ts of TGE

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Thanksgiving Eve has finally arrived. 

As a college student who was away, far away at school, Thanksgiving was always a much needed break from classes, tests, and the whole Miami scene for a few days. It was nice to come home, experience a little bit of Autumn weather, have some home-cooked meals, and catch up with family and friends. But most importantly, I looked forward to coming home for the highly anticipated Thanksgiving Eve celebrations. I’m not sure what it is about TGE that makes it so great – maybe it’s the fact that it’s a night dedicated to drinking solely because we all have off from work the next day. Or that it’s a night of excessive drinking in honor of a day of excessive eating. Or that it’s a night that has been so commercialized that although it’s a Wednesday, it’s still the biggest party night of the year. Hell, who am I kidding? It’s ALL of those that make it so great!!! As college students, it was the night that we got to come home, meet up with everyone we grew up with, and drink to the memories. You’ll take pictures with the people you hated most in high school, drunkenly resolve long-term conflicts with girls in other “cliques,” and seriously consider getting back together with your high school ex-boyfriend.

Yet while obscenely fun, TGE can be a night of mistakes and mistaste. And so, for us mature grown-up college graduates sitting at work this morning contemplating tonight’s events, it’s important to remind ourselves what is and isn’t acceptable behavior for Thanksgiving Eve.

The Do’s and Don’ts of TGE

Don’t think you need to spend a ridiculous amount of money on some “Thanksgiving Eve Special” at an overrated club.
Do spend a little extra dough – visit a classier watering hole, splurge on the fancier drink, or buy a round for your group.

Don’t start Thanksgiving early by drunk-feasting on pizza after you get home.
Do 
make it a full-night affair. Grab dinner before going out on the town (a.k.a. put some food in your stomach to get you through the evening).

Don’t drink yourself stupid. It’s not worth it. Imaging trying to stomach courses upon courses of delicious Thanksgiving food with a hangover. The stuffing won’t taste as good coming back up.
Do drink enough that you’re not annoyed at how crowded all the bars are.

Don’t go to any place where you used to go in high school, and therefore, have the potential to run into ex-boyfriends, obnoxious girls, or worse…actual high schoolers. Remember, everyone is out tonight. Probably even your teachers.
Do go to some of your favorite current spots where you know you always have a good time.

Don’t AND I REPEAT DON’T plan on getting the 3:00 AM LIRR “drunk train” home. Literally. It is the worst decision you could possibly make. Even if you go all night avoiding annoying, underage, sloppy, wasted, obnoxious partiers, THIS is where they all end up.
Do crash at someone’s apartment or take a cab home at the end of the night. Worth it.

Don’t over-think the night and put too much pressure on yourself to have an “epic Thanksgiving Eve.”
Do go out with the intention of having fun. If you’ve got good drinks and good company, you’re sure to have a good time. Even an “epic” one, at that.

Stay safe, have fun, and ignore your ex’s texts tonight. Cheers!

Have a good Thanksgiving Eve! And a Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂

Day Sixty-One – The Life and Times of a Manhattan Gypsy

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So I’ve been gypsying around New York City like a funemployed little bird having too much fun for my own good. But I’m back and ready to inform all the people who I force to read this what I’ve been up to.

First and foremost…Brooke visited from Nashville and we took NYC by storm. Brooke, and Indian in her past life, for sure, is like my spirit guide. So free and fluttering and flirty and fun and fresh and fit and fab! She was here Monday through Sunday, and in those 6 nights, I did more damage to my body than I’ve done all summer long. Regardless, it was the most fun I’ve had since I left Miami.

We frolicked through the streets of Manhattan, taking advantage of happy hours and men with money. Brooke experienced the magic of drinking from a paper bag on the railroad, perfect for summer when there’s no class. (See what I did there?) We skipped down the cobblestone streets of the Lower West Side in fiercely high heels, and drank in the view from the High Line, an elevated park in the city built on old railroad tracks. Later in the week, we traded in our party suits for swim suits and cliff jumped into pools at Mountain Creek, the most awesome water park I’ve ever been to. (Complete with vertical body slides and Tarzan ropes that you swing on into the water. Freakin’ cool.) We “coasted” a 4th of July party in my backyard, concocting a blue drink to celebrate America’s 236th birthday. Coasting, of course, is a word we invented that rolls off the tongue better than “co-hosting.” Brooke was a coast because she made the guacamole. And it was good. Really good. We closed out the week real strong, jumping on the ferry to Governor’s Island, where we danced for hours in our neon clothing, chalked hair and bindis as the sun set over lower Manhattan, and ventured back home through a thunderstorm. Such party girls we are!

But now she has left me…alone and scared and EMPTY without my spirit guide. Brooke – if you’re reading this, which you will be at some point because I’m going to post the link to this on your Facebook page once I’m done writing it and it would just be rude to ignore it – know that you are always welcome to stay with me and my roommates in New York. And even though I’m angry you left me, I shlove you to bits and you are a beautiful Cinderella! You smell like pine needles and have a face like sunshine!!!

Here’s some (Instagrammed) pictures from the week – prepare to be jealous.

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Belles of Bell Boulevard.

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The cast of HBO’s Girls at the High Line, NYC.

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FLIRTY FRESH FUN FIT FAB
(take note of the neon and colorful hair)

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Governor’s Island WHERE MY PARTY PEOPLE AT?!

And now I need a nap. Thanks, Brooke.

So that’s all for our show today. Stay tuned for Season Two ofThe Life and Times of a Gypsy, airing live this fall, when Kristen and Brooke are reunited in the city of angels – Los Angeles.

Kitty out. Peace and Love. Drop mic.