Tag Archives: post grad

Day 328 – “NSFW”

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I have never hated the sound of a camera shutter as much as I did this morning when I was SnapChatting a friend a silly selfie and left the sound on my iPhone on.

I froze, duck lips in full force, praying no one heard the loud Chhhhhh that ran across the office. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the guy across the room peek out from behind his computer screen as I tried to make it look like I was screen-shotting something. Narrowly avoiding what would’ve been a seriously humiliating moment in the office, I turned my sound off as quickly as I could.

There are a few things that are NSFW – Not Safe For Work, that is, and apparently, SnapChat is one of them. It very much depends on your workplace, however, as some of my friends are able to watch full TV episodes on Hulu Plus during their work day. Don’t worry Jess, I’m not gonna say any names. But you’ll learn as year one of PostGrad Life progresses just what is and isn’t safe for work.

1. SnapChat

Like I just mentioned, often SnapChat is NSFW. Unless you are actually smart and remember to turn the sound off when you get to your desk. But seriously, unless you’re sneakily snapping selfies, be careful, because it’s going to be hard to explain this face if you’re caught doing it at your desk:

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2. Hilarious BuzzFeed Articles

It is a scientifically proven fact that the only time it is impossible to hold in laughter is when it is absolutely necessary to hold in laughter. The workplace is one of those places you should try to contain the giggles as best you can due to an undeniable law. It’s called the Law of KYMS – Keeping Your Mouth Shut. I have a hard time following the Law of KYMS every time I open up a link to a Buzzfeed article from an e-mail or a g-chat someone has sent to me. I very often have to physically cup my hands over my mouth to stifle an embarrassing display of hysterical laughter that would be NSFW.

Wanna see if you can follow the Law of KYMS? Check out the 25 Funniest Autocorrects Buzzfeed article, one of my all time favorites. If you can hold in laughter through all twenty five, I’ll buy you a beer. But then also probably stop being your friend because they’re hilarious and if you don’t agree we shouldn’t hang out because I only like funny people.

3. Catching Up on Game of Thrones

The sex. The violence. The incest. The revenge. The totally-out-of-nowhere plot twists. If unlike me, you’re able to watch TV at work somehow, know that Game of Thrones is definitely NSFW. Imagine the setting. You have HBO Go open in one window, an Excel spreadsheet in another for easy clicking back and forth. But you become entranced with the show. Battles of good and evil are unfolding in front of your eyes as your heart races in anticipation. Then suddenly, the LAST POSSIBLE THING you ever thought would happen on the show happens. And you try to react like this:

poppins

But you WANT to react like this:

shocked

And I’m not sure what kind of job you have but the latter reaction would be met with some confusion in my office.

4. Stinky Food

Not only should certain activities be discouraged in the office, but often your choice of lunch can be a not-safe-for-work factor. The Lunch Hour is a sacred hour in the workplace. Where you can finally peel your eyes from your computer screen, give your ever-typing fingers a break, and rejuvenate – boost up your energy to get you through the rest of the day. For those of us trying to save some cash, bringing your lunch and eating it at your desk is a common occurrence  And nothing ruins the sanctity of lunchtime than having to smell your coworkers stinky egg salad as you try to enjoy your midday meal.

Some NSFW Foods you should Avoid:

  • Anything with curry
  • Egg salad
  • Fish, specifically tuna fish
  • Asparagus and Broccoli
  • Microwave popcorn
  • Burritos

lunch

5. Looking at Pictures of Ryan Gosling

Because:

ryan gosling

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So stay focused at work, post-grads, or if you must distract yourself, stick to Pinterest.

Best of luck!

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Day 293 -The Post-Grad Spring Break(down)

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Monday is a harsh reality every week. It’s even harsher after coming off a weekend doing some casual “spring breaking” in Miami. But I’m getting through it. Hour by hour, minute by minute, Tylenol by Tylenol. Last night I went to sleep earlier than I have in weeks. You did me good, Miami, you did me real good.

One year ago, I was planning the trip of a lifetime to Las Vegas with some of the coolest people you will ever meet; so good that ever since, we’ve only referred to ourselves as the “Vegas Crew.” We spent seven days in Sin City; took the reins and galloped down Las Vegas Boulevard at full speed, leaving nothing behind us except money we gambled away and empty bottles of Champagne. And here I am, after a mere four days in Miami, ready to put my head down and take a little nap on my keyboard.

My Post-Grad Spring Break-Down, I’m calling it. And my friends, as with any trip or event, there is going to be the good, the bad, and the ugly that comes along with it. Here’s a little bit of info on what to look out for on your PGSBD this spring, and how you can survive it better than I did.

The Good

The best thing about the Post Grad Spring Break is reuniting with your college crew, and I had it the best, because so many of my best friends are now living down in Miami. This means no expensive hotel rooms, lots of bonding, and a solid crew to roll out with every night. Plus, you don’t have to worry about “finding hot spots” to hit while you’re there, because all your friends are most likely still in-the-know about which spots to go on which nights. You’ll rage like you used to, Instagram pics from inside your favorite clubs (guilty as charged), and be able to enjoy everyone’s company again.

It’s a lot of laughs, a lot of hugs, a lot of pictures throwing up your old sorority salute, and overall my favorite thing about the PGSB.

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What else is good? I mean…you’re on vacation. Duh. Which means you can really enjoy yourself and breathe a little. You don’t have to answer e-mails, set an alarm, or limit yourself to just a drink or two at happy hour because you “have to be up early tomorrow morning.” You can let loose. Things that aren’t really appropriate in post-grad everyday life, like drinks served in fishbowls or miniskirts and heels are not only accepted but encouraged for post-grad spring breakers. Trade in your cubicle for a crop-top and put on your party pants (aka shorts) and get ready to enjoy all the good!

The Bad

…And get ready to potentially have to deal with the bad. Some common crises you may encounter:

  • Epic brain-freeze from your frozen drinks #vacationproblems
  • The inability to drink even half of what you used to in college
  • Being as pale as the walls in your office (ew)
  • “I miss you guys so much, I’m buying everyone a drink!!”
  • Opening a tab…never a good idea.
  • Not being able to nap between daytime activities and going out at night
  • Not fitting into your shorts the way you did last May
  • Feeling OLD

The Ugly

The worst of the worst usually comes after your trip is over. The hangover from the weekend, which may or may not include an actual hangover.
The ugly is the sound of your alarm on Monday morning at 6:30.
The ugly is checking your bank statement when you get into work.
The ugly is noticing your face is peeling from sunburn.
The ugly is seeing pictures of yourself on Facebook that should never have been allowed to surface.
The ugly is realizing you took a physical beating thanks to your escapades – I’m talking bruises, burns, and chipped toenail polish. The works.
The ugly is realizing you miss college and not having any responsibilities.
The ugly is knowing that you are 100% going to get sick this week because you took 0% care of yourself all weekend.
The ugly is the Breakdown after the Spring Break. The Post-Grad Spring Breakdown.

ImageMe at my desk today.

But is it worth it? Yes. It’s worth every second, every penny, every de-tagged picture and every groan of exhaustion. Getting that little taste of college again, that chance to be just a little irresponsible (or maybe very irresponsible, in some cases) is worth the week-long hangover you’ll probably endure.

So book your flights and enjoy yourself. There’s only a few years left for this kind of behavior to be even remotely appropriate, so better we get it out of our systems now, right? Happy Spring Break Month to all the college students who still have that luxury, have a good enough time for all of us post-grads. We’ll be stalking your pictures on Facebook from our cubicles as we have our Spring Breakdowns.

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